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Profile 20.04.1987
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Chong Liang |
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Ego - good or bad?/The only constant in life is change... Everything in this world needs a balance. You can't do without it, yet too much of it stirs negative vibes. A very good example would be the human ego. Ego often associates itself with the male, as males normally portray themselves as the stronger(at least physically) sex, even though with the rise of feminism the female also starts to show their female ego in recent years. Many would feel that being egoistic is something negative, not socially accepted and detested because it is just so annoying you don't want to have anything to do with it. But yet, without any ego, one wouldn't have any "character" at all. More often than not we get angry or upset because something or someone has touched that sensitive button of ours - our ego. We feel threatened, which in turn causes us to be on the defensive and say or do things that are not accepted by others. But here's the weird part: We might be ego towards some people, but yet not so towards others, and for somepeople, being egoistic might just be non-existant. Why? Simply because of the level of threat. A former egoistic bodoh, my ego was crushed, renewed and crushed again in the space of 2 years(by many people la, including my sis, haha...). Confidence also fluctuated like the stock market, unpredictable like the wind. Then came NS, where it served as a place to escape from all my worries and troubles. Facing it seemed an inevitability, especially when i was posted back to tekong as an instructor. Now, I'm just numb. Sian of all that ego talk, outwitting of others just to get that so called pride in the hands and waving them like a crazy lunatic who is so self absorbed in his mirage of victory. In a place filled with guys, it is little wonder how army boys/men can tahan the egoistic nature of the alpha males day in day out. I'm just glad I've walked out of it. For many, army serves as a perfect recluse to escape from all their troubles, as mentioned above(including me). As we serve our 2 year term, changes take place all the time, not to mention things in the civilian world. Within a yr our juniors have finished their As, 8 months into NS and our female classmates and frens have moved on to university, and not to forget the ever constant gossipping of who's together with whom and broken up. I suppose we as NSFs often desire to keep up with all the changes, but then again when the training programme comes out groans and grumbles fill the saddened heart especially when confinement beckons. More importantly, people come and go in our lives. Our best buddies(no matter how close or permanent) in pri, sec, tertiary sch, gf/bf or ex(s), once they step out of your radius of close contact, they will drift further apart once they have found their next radius of contacts. Sometimes the rapport will still be there after many years. Sometimes it might just disappear in a matter of weeks. What's important is that we do cherish the people around us and keep a place for them in some corner of our hearts and mind when they're gone. Letting go might be difficult, but to me it's like a new lease of life, a new beginning in a minor way. Gawd. Too serious le. Duno why but today seem abit lacking of inspiration(or should it be energy) to blog. lolx. neway just made a new spec today... sick of the black and white/frameless spec that looks 25 yr old on me. BUT... a sudden realisation dawned on me... I'm broke!!! Bodoh... money spend like drinking water sia. if only letting away water helps replenish the amount of money in my bank account, I'd gladly go for perspiration sessions or urinate the whole day. -Balance the ego to have a balanced state of mind- signing off, kT=) 0 CommentsFree Counter |