The inner soul

Week 94

2010-05-16T21:31:00.002+08:00

Week 94 - 1st week of internship

What is God doing in our lives this period? I think if i can summarise up mine, it would be 1st day God says, let's warm up. 2nd day on it's go! don't stop! your best! your very best! (Rem Facing the Giants?) Very reminiscent of year 2 sem 1 chuiness.

Brief background about CTI Chemicals Asia Pacific:
- Oil field chemicals company, service provider to companies like BP and Shell.
- Located at Science Park (near NUS)
- It has around 30 ppl in the Singapore branch, bigger fish outside though.
- The HR department has got my direct boss, and me.
- If you have friends in any field of engineering who intends to do Industrial Attachment Year 3 Sem 2, pls feel free to contact me. CTI looking for interns, think chem engineering would be a good course area.

--> God has prepared me for this. I know it. When i first saw this choice out of my 6, this was the furthest and i thought to myself, hmm maybe who knows God will give me this so that i'll be tested. After all, this was the furthest out of the 6.

Really thank God for this week:
- For nudging me to go to work as early as 7.45am so that i can do QT in the office before work starts at 8.15. (Prayer answered)
- For giving me a quiet spot to do work, where big bosses are not around.
- For reminding me about my inadequacies in the field, especially during the 2nd day when i followed my boss to a forum at soem hotel where we were discussing HR issues with many industry players. (Wah piang. Want to smoke also cannot, they know their stuff well.)
- For teaching me how i can support my boss and be a good armor bearer. Having loads of work and not being able to delegate the stuff to me cuz i'm still a noob in my first week of intern and need to learn the ropes first, kinda sucks.
- For showing me once again the realism of life outside from a different perespective, that corporate life ain't the most prettiest sight around when you're looking through the spiritual specs.
- For keeping me reasonably sane. Haven't had enough rest the whole week, but God has carried me through. (All rise to "He is able")
- * For allowing THAT time of lunch when my boss shared about her experience with Christanity with me. Felt burdened. Pray that God will really open up doors for more sharing.

Lastly, God sustains us through His Word. 2 verses that really shook me this :

Mark 13:11b Just say whatever is given to you at the time, for it is not you speaking, but the HS.

It is what i term "Living by the Spirit". When we are tired and weary, and still needing to be alert and focused, all the more so if we are speaking to someone who needs to know God, we really need the HS. Want to be more sensitized to the HS, that God's truths may speak through us as his vessels to people in the workplace. True, worldly temptations are all around (i feel them), no matter how much we consider ourselves to be more spiritual than others, we are nothing but mere vessels that can be moulded by God only if we are willing and humble. Love the times God humbles me through His Spirit.

1 Peter 3:15 But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect

I may not be that prepared. May not even be prepared 10 years down the road. But with whatever faith i have, i'll do my best. Just pray that we'll be willing to allow God to force the best out of us, just like how Brock did the deathcrawl with his eyes blindfolded.

Week 93

2010-05-06T22:05:00.002+08:00

Week 93 - Life goes on

Sucks haha. Handicapped now becuz my hp screen is BLANK, cannot see anything from the screen. I hear msg beepings, yet i have no idea who is that. I try exchanging phones, but my stuff are not saved in my sim card.

Pray that there will be light soon...

Week 92

2010-05-02T23:05:00.006+08:00

Week 92 - Many thoughts. And experiences with God.

If you want to know more, ask me personally. I'll try not to look unapproachable. Alas, the "wonders" of a serious personality.

Disillusioned --> Illuminating
Where are You God --> with faith (mind you, tt's so little faith) --> He has worked it out.
Heavy heart --> My yoke is light.

All rise to the singing of "He is able". Ahhh bless tt song.

week 91

2010-04-23T22:29:00.002+08:00

Week 91 - Exam period week 1

Good solid time this week. Busy, hectic, running through things, missing out on things, doing wrong things, doing right things. But if i can summarise up my thoughts and feelings, it would be "CUI". Mainly physical.

Though, some thanksgivings to make again:

1) Chao lao day.

My dear cg for making the efforts to celebrate my birthday despite the busyness of exams and deadlines. Special mention to Cat and Ashley who came down from town and the other side of the world to pulau ntu. Seng and SW for the prep of venue and food. OOps. that's all of us.

Also, to many others for their well wishes and prayers and notecards and hershey riceball and email. (:

2) Small talks with people

Very interestingly, these (at least 5) came mainly in one day. Till i alr so cui but still talking. But what's exams without fellowship?

3) Getting to know more people

Think it has been a blessing knowing people like Boon Han and Chee Han and Xiaohui (duno if i spelt her name correctly). Hopefully it was a good exp for them studying with our community as well. (:

4) Those who had flu/nose irritants like dust

Wah lao. The one thing that hindered me from staying in hall this exam period. Getting infected is one thing, breathing in dust is another. Either way, it doesn't work well for exams, interaction, and everything else in life.

Despite all the complain. Haha. But, i believe that it is all worth it. Jesus never shirked away, anyway.

5) QT/NT with God

The thing which brightens up any exam period even when things don't go well, people fail you, you fail yourself. I cherish these moments. Even if on the day guitar strumming sucks becuz of incompetency, it doesn't matter so much.

Spending time with God is good enough.

Week 90

2010-04-17T22:54:00.004+08:00

Week 90 -- A week of choleric-ness

Nth much to say this week, only that God, help me be choleric and amiable and reasonably sensitive at the same time. (:

Today i saw quite a unique sight. I was alerted by the sounds of the ambulance and i saw people gathering at the bus stop near my place. Upon looking closer, i saw a bus in the bus stop itself. Later my dad found out that the bus lost its control from the traffic junction 50m away and couldn't stop, knocking into a few cars and i think a few people as it went into the bus stop. OUCH.

Week 89 Part II

2010-04-09T00:49:00.003+08:00

Week 89 Part II - Set apart for Christ: Commitment Series Part I (yes, no creativity

God showed me once again why things don't happen by coincidence.

As i was reading the book of Haggai today, just like Simon Peter in John 21, there was this sense of deja vu. It reminded me of the first time i saw this passage, in Oct 2008 when i decided to commit my time to God for the 1st time. With limited understanding. When I noticed Jesus stepping into my boat and started to allow Him to work in me. This time round, i took home 3 slightly different things.

I was touched by the part about God bringing unique experiences to each and every one of us. However, i was slightly hesitant about what was ahead. Supposedly, i sensed the busyness of each and every one of us as deadlines/quizzes/and the exams approach. But just want to reiterate Tim's last pointers even as i remind myself with this.

When we focus on people, on things, we see the part we play, we see miracles happen. WE SEE RELIGION. We forget!

When we focus on God instead, we see Him coming down, reaching out, WE SEE THE RELATIONSHIP.

Think for myself there are moments in recent times when i tend to just do and do (yes, because of a certain fasting), but as a result my perspective tends to be more on things (maybe less of people). Help me remember God. Help me remember the good times spent with You alone, that i may realign myself back to not just doing Your work, but renew this RELATIONSHIP day by day.

Came home around 12.30am. Haha. Thankful that my dad didn't grumble for the late ride, but really. Felt that every one of us needed a personal prayer seeing the busy week just consume us. Thankful for the sharing.

On a lighter note, i am also slightly amused that some bird droppings decided to find its way on my WHITE shirt one fine afternoon. Lol.

Week 89 Part I

2010-04-07T22:48:00.002+08:00

Week 89 part I

Barcelona 4 Arsenal 1 (Champions League Quarter Final 2nd leg, Nou Camp, Barcelona)

(Barcelona scorers: Messi 21, 37, 42, 88)
(Arsenal scorers: Bendtner 18)

I was running through the Barca teamsheet. Indeed Henry didn't play. But who needs Henry against Arsenal when you've got Pedro and Bojan (apart from the 1st 2 strikers) who can score too? Enjoy. This is a Lionel Messi 4-bagger spectacle.

On the other hand, Arsenal went route one. 2 options, either release Walcott down the right for a burst, or pump the balls to Bendtner for height. The scoreline kind of proved its point when Bendtner failed to muster a shot on target in the 2nd half after being put through in the box. Nasri, more notorious in his usual position at the flanks, was lost in the crowd for most of the game. Apparently taking on the role of Fabregas wasn't the most natural thing.

On a week when miracles continue to happen in our lives, this one was not to be. However, some miracles which i want to share as well:
- Catherine's passing of her uncertain module, praise God for that.
- God really allowing me to see certain things amidst a tight week.
- Realising certain relationships grow in different areas, even when i am not fully aware

Back to work.

Week 88 Part V (end)

2010-04-04T20:26:00.003+08:00

Week 88 Part V (end)

Easter Service (4/4/2010). Won't say much here, but my thoughts about today and the road ahead for the next quarter of the year is summarised in today's QT, coming from Micah 4-7.

I do not know the thoughts of the Lord, i don't understand His plan, sometimes i do feel the temptation of following my own plan. (4:12)
But i do know this: I will stand, I will shepherd His flock, in the strength of the Lord, in the majesty of the name of the Lord our God, in the likeness of the Ruler of Bethlehem, Jesus himself. (5:4)
Why: Because God has shown me what is good. And the three things which God requires us to do - Act justly, love mercy and walking humbly - I will. (6:8 with tinge of coffee beans)
I will remind myself that fearing the Lord is the beginning of wisdom (6:9)
What used to be: Not trusting neighbours, nor having confidence in "friends" (7:5)
Now turns into hope because of the Lord, that He knows, He hears, and He protects. (7:7)
Solemn warning to the devil and the dark side:
- Do not gloat over me, though i have fallen, i will rise. The Lord will be my light. Because i have sinned against Him, i will bear His wrath, until he pleads my case and establish my right. (7:8-9)
Because God, You are compassionate and merciful, i will be, too. (: (7:18)

It starts from today.

Week 88 Part IV

2010-04-03T13:55:00.002+08:00

Week 88 Part IV - Farewell grads

2 Apr is Good Friday. No lessons, but a time of GFG that signals the end of the period/fiscal year(or accounting period etc). A time when the old waves bid their farewells (though not dying on the beach, if you know what i am referring to).

Characterised by LAN gaming (it was my first time playing LAN games for a LONG while, never a gamer to begin with), BBQ and oldies from the 1980s, the highlight was when the grads were sharing about their experiences. Timothy was playing a string of melancholic tunes, yet in my heart there wasn't that mel feeling. Instead, i felt joyful and happy for them, that they'll be moving on to their next stage in life.

Thanks for the acquaintances and friendships, to Hongyao, Tun Kai, Chee Harn, Xuan An, Eng Seng and Qimin. (: Keeping in touch ain't easy, but by God's grace i believe it's possible.

Some reciprocal comments were more real, some were more general, but something was deposited in my heart, that i need to work upon sooner than later.

Week 88 Part III

2010-04-01T22:49:00.005+08:00

Arsenal 2 Barcelona 2 (Champions League Quarter final 1st leg, Emirates Stadium, London)

(Arsenal scorers: Walcott 69, Fabregas pen 85)
(Barcelona scorers: Ibrahimovic 46, 59)

Arsenal v Barcelona
Uploaded by imorenball. - Check out more sports and extreme sports videos.

Want to dedicate this post to Arsenal FC and this game. Free flowing, breathtaking football. (:

Highlights:
- Barcelona had 23 shots (10 on target) compared to Arsenal's 6 (3 on target).
- Arsenal are playing on home ground
- Barcelona are the reigning European champions
- Arsenal captain Fabregas (23 yrs old this year), is a former Barcelona player in his youth days
- Barcelona striker Henry (who is the all time leading scorer for Arsenal with 226 goals), played for Arsenal and well loved by the fans. Emotional night.
- Arsenal have lost to Chelsea and Man Utd (the 2 strongest in the English league besides themselves), and lost convincingly. True underdogs going into this game.
- 1st half possession of the ball: Barcelona (est. 70%), Arsenal (est. 30%). How many teams go to Arsenal's home ground and have such dominance.
- In the end, Arsenal had 3 players (Gallas, Fabregas, Arshavin) injured, Barcelona had their 2 central defenders (Pique, Puyol) missing out on the 2nd leg in Spain.
- As it turns out, Barcelona took a commanding 2-0 lead before Arsenal made a comeback.

And to Nou Camp, Barcelona for the 2nd leg... Barca on home soil. No shame to lose, really... but can i hope?

Week 88 Part II

2010-03-31T23:46:00.002+08:00

Week 88 Part II

PTL once again... think there are some breakthroughs and good stuff to share.

(1)Seng's finding of internship: Successful! Hopefully the employers are good too.
(2)Caregroup this week: Good time of fellowshipping and revisiting God's Word. Seng, SW, Cat, Ashley and myself, think the pics drawn were full of crap but super funny, some of them. Need to take some pics of them if not someone gonna say it's too wordy and kan bu xia qu alr this blog. ahhaha.
(3)Hot longan soup by Mum this tues. Best thing to look forward to after a long day. Good stuff. (:

Shall add more soon.

Week 88 part I

2010-03-29T21:47:00.002+08:00

Week 88 part I

interesting sight on the expressways. forever jammed, today jammed all the way from ntu to the east. my dad and i were looking out for accidents, but dun hav!

either the vehicles must have been slower, or the no. of vehicles on the roads have increased. time to reclaim more land?

Week 87 Part II

2010-03-28T00:57:00.002+08:00

Praise the Lord, nose is clearing up. (:

The week just ended brings about much reflection, repentance and renewed vigour for the coming weeks. Am happy that i got my internship, yet when i see how this comes about, i am just amazed how God just allowed it despite me putting in substantially less time on sending resumes to companies as compared to my peers. Though, i can foresee a good 3 months of pruning ahead as well.

Am set on overcoming another obstacle of my life. Not going to type here though. (:

Mixed feelings on a whole, a week with 3 quizzes, culminating in a "i must balance the balance sheet at least once before end of sch" mentality. Btw, i couldn't this time round too.

Week 87

2010-03-24T23:06:00.003+08:00

Week 87 Part I - The "gong gong" week

It repeats itself again eh. Sinus, doctor, sticky mucus. Wonder what can cure it for good. Nonetheless, just want to give thanks for the half of this week, that there was still enough energy to do the quizzes and make each day fruitful.

Give thanks for the encouragements as well (:

Week 86

2010-03-20T22:37:00.002+08:00

Week 86 - The calm before the storm

Looking ahead i see a lot of things. Quizzes, project deadlines, exams, matric, internship. I refuse to believe that this time (as compared to 2009), i will succumb to the increasing workload, yet i see that possibility. Matric, especially, sure leaves behind some bittersweet moments that are good to have as memories but reluctance to experience again.

All these i know, yet i find it difficult to weather the storm unless i'm firm in the seat facing God. Praise Your Name. (:

I realised one thing about myself today, indeed i tend to be a worrywart of unnecessary things. Looking around at the people in my life, everyone seems to be so busy to their necks that the thing which seems inevitable would be falling ill (i sure hope not). I wonder to myself as i hear them share (both believers and non-believers), how can i help them? I felt burdened. I want to help, and i was thinking of solutions in my head.

Yet, God was quick to remind me today that i need only to be faithful with what i had to do (not something foreign to me btw) and let Him do the rest. That He will take care of my troubles as well as the ones around me, that i need not worry. If i cared, prayers are always helpful.

I was contemplating on doing a bit of studying before service since i reached there earlier than my CG. But as i saw a certain CG sharing life at the stairs, i couldn't help but join in too and prepare my heart for the time of just being in the presence of God during service.

Indeed, i remember my down-and-out days, where everything seems lost yet the heart for spending super quality time with God was beating ever strong. I cherish this feeling, even as i look back.

Now, i want to relive this feeling. The days ahead will be rigorous. But God, you know how much i want to do this with You. Through it all, i will still choose to love. Because You first loved. Outwardly i may be busy, but i know inwardly there'll still be a place and a time for You Lord.

Week 84-85

2010-03-14T12:17:00.003+08:00

Week 84-85 -- New grounds, new people, not-so-new authorities

In our walk with God, many times we talk a lot. Walking the talk is another different thing, whether or not we do it, no one knows but God. This 2 weeks leading up to the start of matric, i realised some things about people and myself and a new perspective on the amazing thing that a relationship with God brings about: Life transformation. See, the terms here are nothing new.

1) Spiritual discipline

This period of time represents busy weeks. A lot of things to do, assignments, midterms, projects, you name it. To some of us it means late nights (bo bian? hmm.), less time for QT, distracted hearts, cranky moods, habits forgone. But i quote something from Wenjiang, it is when bad things (here may not be bad, intense probably) or periods happen, gut feelings/actions often bring out the worst in people.

And btw, i like fasting because it gives the hightened sensitivity to God for His leading. btw, i also hate fasting because i love food too much. Struggle?

2) Spiritual authority part II

2nd installment of spiritual authority. This is quite a confession series, the question at the end: what are some areas which i am still rebellious about... i was just thinking how much investing shepherds have to do, just by listening to their sheep rant. Want to affirm all shepherds/follow uppers for this.

3) Spiritual health (our walk with God itself)

Complaining was echoed in the most recent sermon. It said it would take all of us, our walk with God, to respond in a godly manner befitting of a Christ follower when pruned. Just this 2 weeks, i can think of so many things to complain about: Hazy weather, being brushed off by people while doing surveys, relatively poorer results in midterms, hunger and physical weaknesses (which means lower resistance to the devil as well), greater expectations in sch work etc. The list goes on.

But really. Sometimes it is when such things happen, that we really treasure the good things that happen. FYP prof finally confirmed with one day left of the deadline. Spending time with Bernice and Cat and Seng (on a train ride), sharing about sins to my mum, having breakthrough conversations with various people in the week etc.

Echo from week 60+. I will praise You God for who You are, because You are in control and You first loved us. Be it good or bad times.

Finally, one thing that often happens in CG/Unit/Sub-D time would be that many people would have different testimonies to share and normally only a few get to share. Think each of us have our little testimonies to share, and here's mine:

- Week 85: God calls me to slow down the pace. I see frantic people rushing their stuff, i know i have things to do as well, but God says slow down. As i was walking round the school campus one afternoon and reflecting on some prayer points from Luke 7 and singing some worship songs, i saw this sight at N4 block.

- 3 sections of the block, 1st section the plants were mature and grown and the flowers bloomed to the extent that they were just all over the floor. 2nd section, the plants were just chui. No flowers, the sight was dull. 3rd section, it seemed like back to reality, a mixture of good and chui plants. It seemed to me that God was trying to say what sight it would look if we do/don't choose to do anything for the people this period. To bless, to love, to bring them closer to the God we know. Also, to grow ourselves in Him even as we do His work.

Interesting sight.

Week 82-83

2010-02-26T23:01:00.005+08:00

Week 82-83

Eventful 2 weeks. Just finished watching the last episode of "Dicey Business" on Channel U, which kinda was the culmination of Week 83. Here's the theme song by seasoned Canto singer Hacken Lee, personally liked it. (:

Week 82 - CNY + Make up/Catch up lessons

Breakthroughs and more humblings. CNY period was a good time of catching up with my relatives, especially those who i hardly keep in contact/talk to. Really thank God for all the prunings leading up to this. One thing though, it's only the beginning. Pray for more breakthroughs in family.

CG and some unit bros and siss also came visiting, very blessed indeed. I was busy 3 days, visiting every day till the end of the 3rd day when we're just fatigued by all the bai nian-ing that we realise (ahh. need to work/sch/normal life tmr).

The rest of the week was equally hectic, with make up lessons taking up what would have been empty slots. 3 days to do things of 5 days? Distasteful. Ahh... here i am again, griping and yakking. God had something to say, of course.

Week 83 - Amidst the midterms, memory work and half time air, a bout of blocked guns and sinus attacks. again.

Not for the first time, my guns were at it again. I began the week cursing the weather and woe-ing those who were burning forests and polluting the air. After nagging at my mum not to succumb to cravings of leftover CNY snacks and late night stayups, God first made a breakthrough when my mum told me on Monday she has made practical steps to make sure she gets rest. (:

Then God allowed me to have another sinus inflamatory attack. Horrigible. (example of bad english) Now, i must confess efficiency immediately drops a few notches. Going for lessons with a blocked,mucus-filled nose that refills itself up after every discharge is urgh. My dad and mum, in return, started nagging at me to go see a doctor. Well, with monday and tuesday nights out, thursday CG was the last straw and finally went to the doc today.

Ever experienced the verse "When i am weak, then i am strong?" in a new way? Every single time God wants me to learn something, i will somehow be weakened in a different way. Only then i see God's might and miracle. He made me enhance the value of M&Ms. He refocused me back where i should be focusing. He provided a way out for me so that midterms would be do-able even in a weakened state. He helped me overcome my crankiness of moods during sinus trouble.

And yes, the important lesson of this week. Don't yak and complain so much, Kuang Ting(of course, not outwardly). One of the most frequent things to yak about is in the MRTs. Ever tried getting out a train only to struggle because the Singaporeans just have to get in before someone can get out?

One of the days i woke up getting ready to do my QT. Amidst all the things to complain about i just felt too weak to do so. i flipped open my bible to begin QT, asking myself, what comes next after Jeremiah... hmm... Ahh. Lamentations. (: God certainly don't throw coincidences eh.

Ahh. Time to take my medicine. Till next week.

Week 81

2010-02-13T10:31:00.004+08:00

Week 81 - It's your choice

CNY provides a timely interval to the ever increasing workload that can be distracting in our walk with God. Arguably the most tiring of weeks from the start of school, i was glad God provided this week as a good testing ground.

As the week began, we as a CG went shopping to buy this series of clothings called "It's your choice". The clothes were so big, we all could only wear the "S" size! Also, Sunday shopping with Seng took its toll, really need to recharge well next time.

Then it was off to Timothy Seow's farewell to Melbourne where a new journey begins for him. Pray that God will do great things in this brother's life as he begins his uni life in Australia. (:

Midweek was just fatigue, probably half the time i didn't know i was really communicating with people until midway through the conversation. Lethargy set in, and it wasn't the best of times for concentration. Negative thoughts aside, i think the other thing i was concerned about was focusing on the things at hand each day.

Refreshed by God on Thursday again, this time a prayer was answered, and again the message was for me not to worry. However, i knew i had to be more disciplined in taking ample rest so that i can be at good efficiency. A little breakthrough in different areas led to the end of the week.

Friday's service brought about a reminded repentance area, that is to love the people wholeheartedly around me. Many times i hesitate to do so because of various reasons, but i know i must not let hindrances be excuses not to love/love less.

As CNY day 1 draws close, just want to say i'm very thankful for these 81 weeks with God. (and counting) Let this CNY season be a good time of retreat (from sch work), good time of fellowship, and a good time of partnering with God to glorify His name even as we share about our faith to our family and relatives.

Week 80

2010-02-07T23:40:00.004+08:00

Week 80 Part 2

Christian maths. Simple yet complex. Love.

Week 80

2010-02-05T18:02:00.003+08:00

Week 80 - It's here (lai le)

Some nice testimonies/stories to share for the week.

1. A1 lunch

Had lunch with part of the CG on Wednesday. Though we didn't have much time spent together, it's heartwarming to fellowship with diff kinds of food. Can see the weary faces of each of us (myself included) and i only thank God for His sustainence. Was the first time i explored the apps of the iPhone though. Killing germs, taking stupid posing photos, and infecting as many creatures with sneezing as possible to make the next level, that was fun. (:

Looking forward to more of these!

2. Accounting tutorial: Trust, uncertainty and faith(this one i added myself)

From the tutor: If there is uncertainty, you need to wait till customer accepts officially for the goods before you recognise revenue, not when you first deliver the goods to the customer. (I am always amazed at the additional stuff accounting lessons bring about)

Since it's subjective for each company, it can be said to link to how we trust people as well, ain't it? How far are we willing to trust people and give them the benefit of the doubt? Indeed, there have been many incidents out there that undermine trust. But as people of God, i want to continue to trust people, by the grace of God, that this faith in people will not go in vain. Because God first trusted us as well. (:

3. Selection (HR mod) class

Today my tutor talked about companies selecting employees from interviews. He quoted a story from one of the business major talks where people flocked to Tourism (it's so popular, apparently, i don't know, glamour?) while fewer went to Marketing and it was kind of pathetic for HR side. While grimacing and thinking of strategies how to market HR as a major, my tutor just stood there and said: Well, we'll take the rest.

I'm just glad that one, there is only one God, that we can choose this major in life. two, that God does not specify who can qualify as Christians and who cannot. Given how sinful we are, i don't want to think who can even qualify...hmm, i wonder how far Job can go in an interview with God?

4. Sub-D sharing by Tim

Tim shared a testimony about the process of applying for a job in NTU, that how in the eyes of the world he would be giving up a better job for a post that somewhat eroded his 2.5 years of experience.

I am blessed to hear this story, and that it encourages me to really continue to look upon God for guidance, and not just in the eyes of men. Of course, each of us has our different calling, but i really see the need to prepare myself, and God sees it as well.

I just pray for each of us in A1, in Unit A, in NYC, that when God calls, we will be courageous enough to take it up. Still growing. (:

Buen fin de semana!

End off with this verse, that with each day of walking with God becomes more scarily real. And i really mean scary.

Deut 11:26-28
26 See, I am setting before you today a blessing and a curse- 27 the blessing if you obey the commands of the LORD your God that I am giving you today; 28 the curse if you disobey the commands of the LORD your God and turn from the way that I command you today by following other gods, which you have not known.

kuang ting

Week 79 Part 2

2010-01-31T09:16:00.004+08:00

Week 79 Part 2

A video which we saw during CG this week. (: blessed.

The crowd or the cross. 2 voices, calling us each and every day. We need to make that decision to stand firm in our faith, even as we are exposed to the things of the world all so often.

A little encounter with God to share. I was returning home yesterday and griping with the Thaipusam festivities because 4 buses just went by without letting people up as it was already jam packed. Was like "wah lao.. sian half.." because it was already late (delayed about an hour at the bus stop). Was also reflecting upon the sermon that was given to us yesterday, as well as several other things.

Once again consumed by many thoughts, i reached the carpark near my place and (with my specs on, somehow) i saw this van from Church of Christ saying: "The bible has the answer." I was amazed because i thought seeing this didn't happen just by any chance. It was like God reminding me with the words on the van. Indeed, God's word is everlasting. And whatever we do in life, when we are faced with the choice of choosing the crowd or the cross, i want to make that choice to refer to God's word and people, the decision to choose the option that is best in God's eyes and bring glory to Him.

Week 79

2010-01-29T14:18:00.005+08:00

Week 79 - Struggling powerfully

I was sharing about these two words with someone just recently. Yes, it is a good thing to struggle with the Lord, and i am privileged, even, to be able to struggle with God. Going through struggles can be painful/unpleasant, but as in Hebrews it is mentioned in verse 7 of chapter 12, endure hardship as discipline, God is treating us as His sons (for sisters, daughters), for what son (or daughter) is not disciplined by their Father?

This has been the situation for me this week, with many situations i did not know how to handle myself but God made a way for me through the HS. Upon hindsight i can smile upon what has just passed, and be encouraged that God has walked ahead and is leading me to better places.

Here are some heartwarming situations:
- Getting to know more people (:
- Time spent at HQ, good time of conversations with you, you, you, you and you.
- CG on Thursday, where we got to understand each other a bit better in a more abstract way, and appreciate each other's flaws.
- Fighting with negative thoughts and fatigue at the same time
- Fighting with distractions eg.the one at Nanyang Audi during midweek
- Developing certain friendships slow but progressive
- Rush hours on the train, waking up to see familiar faces
- QT with God (spiritually refreshing in the morning before the physical rest on the train) that sharpens me (:
- The many conversations i had during the week, some of which were more surprising
- In class nonsense and light hearted stuff in the midst of heavy content, and some which were more urky
- Fighting with the "love the sinner, hate the sin" catchphrase
- Realising that i still have an area that i need to be working upon diligently
- Food (: esp. Mum's dinners with hot soup...
- Shepherding and good time of sharing life
- And of course, the many little humblings that God provides so as to remind me that He is still in control and not let pride get in the way. Praise You God. (:

Allow me to say this once again, that we are not fighting this war with the weapons of this world, but they have power to demolish strongholds. This spiritual warfare, i am glad to be fighting this with God.

Look forward to the week ahead and the many humblings with you God. But first, it's the weekends! And i haven't bought my CNY clothes yet.

Week 78

2010-01-23T00:09:00.004+08:00

Week 78 - Do our part and let God do the rest

Thanksgiving pts to God this week:
- For reminding me of His presence every now and then
- For a wonderful time of sharing at CG, and learning from the Word
- For the Holy Spirit's guidance especially during school hours
- For creating new opportunities for knowing more about ppl's lives
- For sustaining me through a week that was plagued by sensitivity of nose (not for the first time)
- For sustaining me through fatigue from travelling (ahh sucks), and keeping me awake during lessons (only just)
- For wonderful meals prepared by Mum (yam rice today, ;P)
- And more.

A photo of NYCA1 at the museum.. blurred and ancient. (:

Week 77

2010-01-16T09:40:00.005+08:00

Week 77 - 1st week of Year 2 Sem 2

3 takeaway points this week. Going to be a bit choleric here, indeed God has spoken in different ways, different measures to me this week, to help me get started in an appropriate manner. These 3 points represent 3 very real issues that we may all face, and to be frank, i know i will be tested yet again.

The season in my life is: Perserverance

1. Don't forget me, says the Lord, even as we perservere

Philippians 3:12-21 (New International Version)

Pressing on Toward the Goal
12Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
15All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. 16Only let us live up to what we have already attained.

17Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you. 18For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. 19Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. 20But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, 21who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.

Indeed, throughout the week there are little snippets of time where i get a bit more engrossed with my sch work and my plans that my relationship with God has thrown a little off balance.

Love the times when God uses LITTLE circumstances (not big ones) to humble me and keep me soft at heart. Even as i am humbled, i know i need to be.

2. Purity (stepping out of comfort sheltered zone)

The first thought that sprung to my mind when i went for my first seminar was: kuang ting (in an unpleasant eeky distasteful voice), "welcome" back...

I was reminded many things and if there's anything that is sobering, this would be the no.1 thing as i was reminded of this big hindrance that stands before our relationship with God once again, that will continue to test and pester even as God has made His people, including myself, stronger. The p&W song that goes: A pure heart, that's what i long for... a heart that follows hard after thee... I want to keep it in my mind. After all, we are not fighting with the weapons of this world. Our war is a spiritual war.

Psalm 119:9-11 (New International Version)

b Beth
9 How can a young man keep his way pure?
By living according to your word.
10 I seek you with all my heart;
do not let me stray from your commands.

11 I have hidden your word in my heart
that I might not sin against you.

3. Add/drop (Miracles and interventions)

Thanks to Weeboon, many of us were able to use an automated add drop programme that allowed us to camp for our desired module. God dropped a word at the beginning of the week that i should not worry about this thing and let Him do His work, as i had better things to concern myself with.

On Wednesday, i received a pleasant surprise. 10am, i went in to start the programme, and i happened to see ONE SLOT. One slot, at exactly the index no i wanted, among all other slots which remained empty for huge periods of time. I successfully added that module in. Amazing God.

On Friday 12am, the one other module i was camping for suddenly had a slot too! It was after Sub-d, and apparently not worrying for this paid dividends. But, as it turned out, Friday 10am someone else took that module. Still, PTL!

I thank God for showing me how He works in His timing. Still, we have to plan our schedules and prepare ourselves, but as we know,

Proverbs 16:9 (New International Version)

9 In his heart a man plans his course,
but the LORD determines his steps.

Looking forward to greater days with You. Love You.

Blessed,
KuangTing

Week 76 Part 2

2010-01-09T22:52:00.003+08:00

Week 76 Part 2

The new year often comes in the form of new year resolutions, time of reflecting, and setting aside goals that we want to accomplish for the next 12 months. Though i must say, when the announcement about the resolution about eating less and exercising more came, i was like, exercise (sure!), eat less (hmm...).

But first, i thank God for showing me certain things in the new year. That certain things were not meant to be smooth sailing, and i can expect an exciting ride in the new year. The electives which i wanted in the end was not the one i got. Which means add drop. Which means timetable not settled. New scenario here though.

Next, that i have much to do in the new year if i want to see more people come to know the Lord. I really need to root myself well in the Word and applications in my life if i want to see my closest ones come to know the Lord as well.

And, to be faithful to what God has called me to do, and not be sidetracked by any hindrances along the way. That He'll show me what am i doing in HR in a clearer form. Bits and pieces along the way, but i'll wait for your revelation.

Finally, i thank God for this sermon preached by Michael, that we'll continue to grow our faith in You and continue to trust in You.

Isa 66:2
Has not my hand made all these things,
and so they came into being?"
declares the LORD.
"This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word.

Week 76

2010-01-06T12:09:00.003+08:00

Week 76 Part 1 - If we hold on together (Diana Ross)

No spiritual elements here. A familiar song, the lyrics all so meaningful. It reminds me of my walk with God, to persist and grow in our faith, confidently with love and fear of the Lord into the new year. Are we ready for the new sem?

By the way, the guitar is good (i think). (:

If we hold on together
Verse:
G
Don’t lose your way, with each passing day
G C D
You’re come so far Don’t throw it away
Em G Em G
Live believing, dreams are for weaving
C G D
Wonders are waiting to start
Em G Em G
Live your story, faith hope and glory
Am G D
Hold to the truth in your heart

Refrain:
G C D
If we hold on together
G C D
I know I dreams will never die
G Em C
Dream see us through to forever
G Em D G
Where clouds roll by for you and I

Should be correct? made some changes to the chords though.

Week 75

2010-01-03T23:56:00.001+08:00

Week 75 - Enter 2010

It's the new year. So here's a video of some funny clips in soccer (heh. as always) to liven things up (:

Happy 2010 to all!

Week 75

2009-12-31T10:17:00.001+08:00

Week 75 – One last… before 2010

It comes at this time of the year when results are released, msn nicks start sprouting out stuff that bears resemblance to either a victory cry, a disappointment sentence, each pertaining to the expectations that individuals set. I remember Pastor Jeff during Christmas service. Fearing to hope for results because of fear of disappointment. That night, Pastor Jeff urged us to keep hoping, because Jesus himself has given us all the hope we need. We can hope afresh, and we can hope confidently. In all areas of our life.

More often that not we hear things like “Do your best and let God do the rest”. How often do we believe then, that this sentence will come true? Truth be told, I didn’t dare hope this time round. Given how this semester has progressed, any sane individual who has seen me around in school and know what’s happening in my life won’t probably equate decent grades with it. Loads of pruning, loads of new understandings, emotional upheavals, and more stress (and stress in studies is just the tip of the iceberg). Exam periods are not exam periods, half the time I wasn’t actually studying. Hardly anything experienced from previous semesters. Extreme.

I’d like to dedicate this entry to God because He has really created something miraculous that I probably won’t have imagined. Encouraged by certain people, I decided to pen this entry in the hope that it will encourage many others as well.

BH223 – Compensation and Benefits (B)
I focused my eyes first on this because this module, in my opinion, would likely be the worst, given that I’ve almost failed and failed my quizzes (many passed), and didn’t do as well as most of my peers in one assignment, which in combination was about 40% of the grades. Was expecting a hopeful B- here, but apparently God put the project as our saving grace. God really made a way out despite all the setbacks.

AB214 – Comm management (B+)
This I had to be prepared. Was indeed expecting a B+, because presentations, as much as it provided some saving grace, was humbled by written work and a report that received much criticism. Not to mention crafting out a speech for 5 mins on the spot. Ambiguity aside, this was one module I was thankful for, that God provided the energy for all the 8.30am lessons in this module and taught me certain aspects of communication that I lacked.

AB005 – Special projects (Business cases) (A-)
Apart from the two modules aside, the following three modules I was just amazed at God’s work. First, for AB005, even with all the cuiness for the 1st half of the sem I felt that the profs were not impressed with what we offered because it was mediocre and I wasn’t that hopeful for this. Even for the video, I felt that our video was not that interesting, even if it was “a good attempt”. So pleasantly surprised by this gift from God.

BH226 – HR Strategy and Consulting (A-)
25 marks blank from the exam, a blocked nose and a blocked brain when writing, loads of ambiguity from the semester, a consulting report on Gao Ning and the table tennis saga which never seemed to develop well, that even a good project didn’t seem to warrant a good grade, probably something decent. Not to mention skipping classes. And a whole load of huff and puff. So thankful. That God, I know that I just have to trust more in You.

HP802 – Working in 21st century (A+)
I wondered if I should be doing an S/U for this because the assignment didn’t seem to go too well. Nonetheless, God prompted me that I shouldn’t S/U not so because of the grades, but the significance of this module in some of the things He was trying to instill in me. While the rest of my peers who took the same module were like “Heng I S/U the module” and I was the only one who did not, I was less than sure that I could remember everything as well and that my decision not to S/U was right. Indeed, God’s mighty hand showed. I can only say, You know best, God.

It may not seem anything fantastic here and to be honest, I was quite peaceful even when clicking on the results page. Indeed, it is not about the numbers, but how our relationship with God and people grow with each and every experience. Because. Our focus is on relationships. And relationships give us strength and confidence that we can do all other things. You deserve all glory God.

Many times I felt like giving up in this race. But God says, whether you like it or not, you continue with what I entrust you to do. Whatever challenges you are facing, you continue to work at it and not give up, and I will be there for you and not give you more than what you can bear. Trust in me.

Stone wall. To build up foundations strong, to guard our lives healthily, to understand better Your will for us with each and every day. And to love, unconditionally, with all that we have, because You first made that choice to love us unconditionally. I give You thanks, and look forward to the next year. Things may not necessarily be easy but I’ll enjoy it.

Blessed,
KuangTing

Week 73-74

2009-12-26T10:32:00.002+08:00

Week 73 - 74 (Christ-mas draws near... One last)

Christmas talks about the birth of Jesus. Representing the source of hope. It is always a time for good retail sales, crowds of people in Orchard Road, yet do we know why we are celebrating this day?

Pastor Jeff talked about a fresh hope. A radical hope. And a confident hope, because we know Jesus, that He gives us hope. Seeing the multitudes of people at Suntec, can't help but feel a sense of exhiliration. This Christmas brings about a much different feel. Last Christmas, i had the privilege of seeing a new acquiantance receive Jesus into his life. This Christmas, i had the privilege of getting to know many new faces and celebrate Christmas together.

Looking back at the past 2 weeks at least, i can say i'm at least heartened that through the many events (be it meeting up with friends or planning events), we as a CG have grown in our own ways and begin to know each other better. There is still a long way to go before i can really use the word "synergy", but at least we're heading in the right direction. (:

Meeting up with friends was another round of heartening experiences. Long time, but i'm glad that the friendship still stands, even as we may have different definitions of "friendship" already right now.

This season, i have decided not to give Xmas cards for various reasons. So my apologies! I suppose there's a thousand and one ways of affirming ba. And the timing as well.

Mark 12:30. Love God, love people. With all our heart, soul, mind and strength. Praying for the conditions of our hearts (courage, love, friendship, knowledge, purity, sincerity, kindness). But most of all, hope and light, because it gives all of us life.

Darkness, sins. They can be scary. We would probably feel at ease if we could get rid of all darkness. But it is impossible. Where there is light, there is always darkness(Gen 1:3-5). When the light is stronger, the shadow also becomes darker. Therefore, no matter how dark it is, we must not lose sight of the light in us. This is what it means to have hope. That new crest of hope, because of Jesus and His renewal in us. Merry Xmas to all!

Week 72

2009-12-13T12:08:00.002+08:00

Week 72 - Fear the Lord

Many questions pop up recently, as usual. As Christmas season draws close, it's the time of inviting frens, meeting them up, gatherings for bros and siss as well etc. Does it seem busier than school days one wonders? Whatever the answer may be, is it good or bad? More importantly, is it worthwhile to EACH OF US?

But again, allow me to give thanks for the many things that happened this week.

- Devotions with CG, well though small, but i want to believe and TRUST that God will do miracles in here, and not becuz we deserve it in any way, but because we choose to live for Him.

- Shepherding: Been a long while, but a good time of sharing.

- QT: Despite busy schedules, i thank God for the ad hoc times of QT where we'll never think we can squeeze out time.

- Prayer meet: Thank God for His faithfulness, his belief and strengthening in us, the importance of seeking an all rounded perspective, both for the lost and asking God to strengthen/refresh us. Prep our lives, biblical leadership, base camp and outreach... Help us remember God.

- Unit outing: Besides the food (:, a good time of sharing childhood memories, scrutinising each other's parents/sibilings and comments of people looking like they want to "shit", amidst much laughter. Prayer session as well, that we want to commit all that we're doing into His mighty hands, that Hes still in the picture even as we enjoy each other's fellowship.

To end off, we want to give You, God, the honor and glory, for what You do in us this season. For You are great, for You are great.

Week 71

2009-12-04T20:07:00.003+08:00

Week 71 - PTL!

It's titled PTL this week because this is the phrase that has popped up most in QT.

"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, his love endures forever.

- The end of exams! Well, not that exciting as it sounds, because after the paper i was just like, "what next?"

- The time at NUS, visiting them, and getting to know a few more people as well.

- A good week with my dad, spending good time with him when Mum's away

- NYCA1, my cg (: A very interesting situation indeed, diverse and sparse, but still making the effort to come together. Overcoming self love together, as one. Perservere...

- Housework - The load shared between my dad and i (: ahh... brilliant. Mum we'll really appreciate you much more when you come back. It is times like this. Heh.

- Sinus attack (flu/runny nose/sticky mucus for the whole week, even as i am typing): For when i am weak, then i am strong. (no sarcasm here, i really mean it)

- Shopping with Zac and Jeek: Good time of fellowship (:

- QT times with God: More comforting then usual, with added wisdom (don't ask for it, it will come)

- Sharing over meals with the many bros and siss of NYC during this 3rd week of exams

- Lunch with an ex colleague

- Raffles Place crowd... ahh... the many facades and faces (that's minusing the "ad"). God won't you increase this burden...

- Blog posts. Answers just pop up when you don't search anymore...

- And of course, prayers! What can i do but pray Lord...

Week 70B

2009-11-27T13:04:00.019+08:00

Week 70B - Prayers, belief

I pray Lord... I pray. Even with exams looming around the corner, i pray for things to happen. And wait in expectation. Things are tough, i feel like giving up almost every day, but i want to have that faith. These are not new prayers, but how many of us can say we understand every word we pray to God? I want to understand. God, please tell me why. I will ask, and ask, and ask. For as long as i live. (:

I pray for courage, the nerve that seems to have crumbled and faded into distant memory. The courage to do things and not be conscious of others' opinions, and know that it is You who judges, not others. The courage and confidence to look people in the eyes and not shun away, be it shyness or fear.

I pray for friendship, the renewal and building. The friendship that is not measured by situations on the outside, the facades and pride and position.

I pray for love, agape and pleasing to You. The love that stems from the source which You gave, the cup of communion which we drink and the bread we partake every week, that speaks of a fragment of that great love You had when You sent Jesus Your only son to die for our sins.

I pray for knowledge, that self motivation of increasing our skills and wisdom to be more like You, and to use them to further Your kingdom and not to our own selfishness.

I pray for purity. Having a pure heart, being close with people yet guarding it well with our lives. Checking our thought life every moment of our lives, even as we are immersed in the world. Hating sin just as You hate them, striving to be as holy as You.

I pray for sincerity, that stems from within. Too often have people around us fail us, but i pray that our response will still be true and mean what we say, walk our talk. Not about the face value, but seeing within, just as You see our hearts and not on the outside.

I pray for hope. When all seems lost, when all seems down, we praise You still. We win, we praise You, and we lose, we praise You too. The hope and belief that nothing can bring us down, as long as we are with You Father. Importantly, hope in people too.

I pray for light. Being the salt and light of the world is definitely not easy, yet by calling us to be salt and light You know our abilities and believe in us. The light that shines forth, the light that demonstrates who You are in our lives, i pray for that.

Prayers work wonders. Lord thank You! Perservere... (:

Week 70

2009-11-27T00:04:00.002+08:00

Week 70 - Don't give up...

The exams are not exams...

The revision is not revision...

The food is not food...

The words are not words...

What is God doing? Hmm... Hmm... (:

Week 69

2009-11-21T00:20:00.006+08:00

Week 69 Part 2 - It's time to train

You know, many things don't happen on the outside. It happens right from the inside of our hearts (just reminded of the heart with "weeds" during service just now, wah lao). I begin my post with these verses:

1 Corinthians 9:24-27 (New International Version)

24Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

25Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. 27No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

Indeed, we want to last the race. Having only 2 papers does not equate to "relaxing" or "slack", nor is it compensation for a tough semester. It's definitely more than just that. God's season is definitely not the world's season. By the way, the world's season now is "Exams".

Indeed, stress. Suddenly felt the relief of stress when i reached home, yet knowing that i have to go through training to see where God will bring me to.

Indeed, renewing covenant with God when we take what He says seriously, completely and specifically. How many of us can testify that agreeing with it is much easier compared to actually doing it right.

Many thanksgiving points this week. Exams bring out the best and worst of people, yet at NYC it's heartwarming seeing many fellow brothers and sisters gathering together to study. Very much different feeling from last sem, but nonetheless thankful.

Thierry Henry's handball in the France/Ireland game. Once a legend of Arsenal 5 years ago, yet undone by a stupid unethical mistake amidst broken Irish hearts en route to the World Cup next year. Worthwhile cheating just to win? Hmm...

Week 69

2009-11-17T23:31:00.003+08:00

Week 69 - Amidst studying for exams...

Suddenly felt the urge to blog about God once again. One big thanksgiving point today. God dropped a passage into me in the form of Psalms 78, delivering nothing but a clear cut warning after earlier comforting passages.

v9 to v11
The men of Ephraim, though armed with bows, turned their back on the day of battle, they did not keep God's covenant and refused to live by his law. They forgot what he had done, the wonders he had shown them.

v17 to v18
But they continued to sin against them, rebelling in the desert against the Most High. They wilfully put God to the test by demanding the food they craved.

More verses to come about how the men continued to sin despite God's grace and mercy. Our responses are crucial. The difficult part is here. How resilient is the walk with You? (sustainability)

Even though i choose to be proactive which might mean potential discouragement and setbacks, more importantly, i choose to partner with You and desire Your guidance. Help me remember God.

Blessed,
KuangTing

Week 68

2009-11-14T23:52:00.002+08:00

Week 68 - Refuge

Relationship with God. How true that the experiences one experiences with God is so unique that even when you tell others, others can only feel happy for you and not be able to feel God the way you feel when you experience Him yourself.

Our natural responses: Fear, blame, regret. We know jolly well we should respond with conviction, standing firm. God, we need You. Because.

The God we know, righteous and holy
The God we know, faithful and true
The God we know, my tower of refuge
Hearts are healed, Christ revealed

The God we know, the light of the city
The God we know, strengthens the weak
The God we know, Your heart beats within me
As You are, so are we

It's all about You God... This is my cry, my one desire, more of You...

Week 67

2009-11-06T01:36:00.002+08:00

Week 67 - Love

In the middle of the night, doing up a report for submission tomorrow. And listening to P&W. Realised that i've been repeating this particular song a few times now. This particular love song. "Love you holy spirit, you're captivating my soul, and everyday, i grow to love you more..."

Something i took out of Tue Sub-D.. Giving up our rights, the rights to be appreciated, the rights to be understood, the rights to be supported, the rights to be served. And throwing that concept of self love out of the window. And stop fearing God's love.

Even as many of us are being pruned by God this period, i pray that this community will stick around and rely on each other just as much as we choose to rely on God. Exams may be stressful, but truth be told, other things may even be more stressful than exams. That is, when one cannot meet the demands of a particular subject matter. Love conquers all. Faith, hope and love. But the greatest of all is love.

2009-10-30T20:29:00.002+08:00

Week 66 - Iron-hard and irony

God's mighty hand.

Sustaining, strengthening.

Teaching, nourishing.

Hectic, yet calm.

Sombre, yet joyful.

Serious, yet light-hearted.

God, You do wonders. No matter what comes next, I give thanks to You, for You first loved.

Love,
KT

Week 65

2009-10-24T12:53:00.003+08:00

Week 65

A truly amazing week.

Over here i want to apologize to God and many people as well for my over-seriousness and some would call it paranoia this past week. For that matter, i'd rather not dabble in too much smiles or excitement around people because unhealthy seeds do manifest from there and i'd do best to steer clear of that.

Psalms 18 was a prominent passage this week, i'll dedicate this post to this psalm.

God's character 18:1-3

1 I love you, O LORD, my strength.
2 The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn [a] of my salvation, my stronghold.

3 I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise,
and I am saved from my enemies.

God's deliverance 18:4-29

4 The cords of death entangled me;
the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.

5 The cords of the grave [b] coiled around me;
the snares of death confronted me.

6 In my distress I called to the LORD;
I cried to my God for help.
From his temple he heard my voice;
my cry came before him, into his ears.

7 The earth trembled and quaked,
and the foundations of the mountains shook;
they trembled because he was angry.

8 Smoke rose from his nostrils;
consuming fire came from his mouth,
burning coals blazed out of it.

9 He parted the heavens and came down;
dark clouds were under his feet.

10 He mounted the cherubim and flew;
he soared on the wings of the wind.

11 He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him—
the dark rain clouds of the sky.

12 Out of the brightness of his presence clouds advanced,
with hailstones and bolts of lightning.

13 The LORD thundered from heaven;
the voice of the Most High resounded. [c]

14 He shot his arrows and scattered the enemies ,
great bolts of lightning and routed them.

15 The valleys of the sea were exposed
and the foundations of the earth laid bare
at your rebuke, O LORD,
at the blast of breath from your nostrils.

16 He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
he drew me out of deep waters.

17 He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
from my foes, who were too strong for me.

18 They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
but the LORD was my support.

19 He brought me out into a spacious place;
he rescued me because he delighted in me.

20 The LORD has dealt with me according to my righteousness;
according to the cleanness of my hands he has rewarded me.

21 For I have kept the ways of the LORD;
I have not done evil by turning from my God.

22 All his laws are before me;
I have not turned away from his decrees.

23 I have been blameless before him
and have kept myself from sin.

24 The LORD has rewarded me according to my righteousness,
according to the cleanness of my hands in his sight.

25 To the faithful you show yourself faithful,
to the blameless you show yourself blameless,

26 to the pure you show yourself pure,
but to the crooked you show yourself shrewd.

27 You save the humble
but bring low those whose eyes are haughty.

28 You, O LORD, keep my lamp burning;
my God turns my darkness into light.

29 With your help I can advance against a troop [d] ;
with my God I can scale a wall.

God's blessings 18:30-50

30 As for God, his way is perfect;
the word of the LORD is flawless.
He is a shield
for all who take refuge in him.

31 For who is God besides the LORD ?
And who is the Rock except our God?

32 It is God who arms me with strength
and makes my way perfect.

33 He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
he enables me to stand on the heights.

34 He trains my hands for battle;
my arms can bend a bow of bronze.

35 You give me your shield of victory,
and your right hand sustains me;
you stoop down to make me great.

36 You broaden the path beneath me,
so that my ankles do not turn.

37 I pursued my enemies and overtook them;
I did not turn back till they were destroyed.

38 I crushed them so that they could not rise;
they fell beneath my feet.

39 You armed me with strength for battle;
you made my adversaries bow at my feet.

40 You made my enemies turn their backs in flight,
and I destroyed my foes.

41 They cried for help, but there was no one to save them—
to the LORD, but he did not answer.

42 I beat them as fine as dust borne on the wind;
I poured them out like mud in the streets.

43 You have delivered me from the attacks of the people;
you have made me the head of nations;
people I did not know are subject to me.

44 As soon as they hear me, they obey me;
foreigners cringe before me.

45 They all lose heart;
they come trembling from their strongholds.

46 The LORD lives! Praise be to my Rock!
Exalted be God my Savior!

47 He is the God who avenges me,
who subdues nations under me,

48 who saves me from my enemies.
You exalted me above my foes;
from violent men you rescued me.

49 Therefore I will praise you among the nations, O LORD;
I will sing praises to your name.

50 He gives his king great victories;
he shows unfailing kindness to his anointed,
to David and his descendants forever.

God's people should always acknowledge the magnificent multifaceted character of our God. We should also recount His awesome acts of deliverance for us. Furthermore we should continue to rely on His future faithfulness in view of who He is and what He has done for us.

Week 64

2009-10-17T01:34:00.002+08:00

Week 64 - Question

Why do children ask “why”, and when we are adults, we have to be taught how to ask “why”? I was in a seminar class on Wednesday, and while the tutor was droning on and on about how to ask questions pertaining to a certain subject matter in a Hong Kong accent (50 cents a lot of money!), this thought suddenly popped into my head. Sad case eh.

Interestingly, this had to be one of the highlights of a week of projects and deadlines. Ahh... at least there's always food.

Looking forward to what God is going to do in our lives. In the meantime, stone wall =)

Week 63

2009-10-09T20:15:00.004+08:00

Week 63 - The calming of His hand

Indeed, it's very interesting how God has His ways. I thank God it's Friday (TGIF), looking forward to tomorrow's service when we praise God again =)

This week has been quite a mixed week. Again. In fact, i can't seem to be able to count how many mixed weeks are there these days. Some have been efficient, like today, when things got done. Others, well, more controversial.

Thursday. Had AB214 negotiation presentation. Due to the ambiguous nature of this task, my group mate and i were caught out cold when my tutor re-emphasized the 10 min mark. When it was our turn to present, we left out the scenario totally as we gave out handouts for the class to read. Horrendously, the class was lost at first when we started presenting.

Thank God for AB005. I totally started crafting out my 5 min speech in thin air to try to get the audience to understand, plus my own part. The Q n A, we were more of trying to explain the slightly complicated context. Thank God there were still pluses in the end. However, the early damage was done and i just pray for lenience on the tutor's part. Then again, the issue with grades and innate desire to score, i kinda felt that it was missing. Perhaps along the way God has really brought me to see the value in the process rather than the end result.

Had final CG before official restructuring. Perhaps it was the final CG, the whole mood was just lightened and there was much laughter. Loads of suan-ing, lameness and joy. Thank God for Calyn, Shanrui, Gracia, Meixuan and Liyun. I look forward to the flourishing of NYCA3!

My dad and mum were ill this week, and it was not a good time for health, i kinda had to pop some pills as well because of another bout of 21 gun salutes. Pray for sick people here, that God you'll just heal them and restore them to full health.

Must start exercising!

And most importantly of all, to remain joyful, because God is here with us. Believe in people. PRAISE GOD, WHETHER WE WIN OR LOSE.

Psalm 40:3-5

3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD.

4 Blessed is the man
who makes the LORD his trust,
who does not look to the proud,
to those who turn aside to false gods.

5 Many, O LORD my God,
are the wonders you have done.
The things you planned for us
no one can recount to you;
were I to speak and tell of them,
they would be too many to declare.

Week 62

2009-10-04T01:02:00.003+08:00

Week 62 - God i am amazed by you...

Help me remember. When we win, we praise You. When we lose, we praise You. Whether we are in high spirits or low morale, we praise You all the same.

This was one week that so much could go wrong. From the inside out, from the smallest and insignificant thing to the largest and trickiest situations. However, right now i'm just thankful that most of my projects are on track, nothing too big has gone wrong, and i can really look forward to sch starting again.

Watched "Fame" with CG. Given that it's the last time we're actually fellowshipping as a CG on official Saturdays, i think it was quite a special moment, and the show was not bad either. Though i think some parts weren't my cup of tea. The music was great though!

School starting also means mid term quizzes and more projects, and i also would like to pray for all taking quizzes and mid terms, to focus and not let minds and hearts wander away to lalaland or some other place.

I'm thankful for God for what He has done in my life for this past 7 weeks or so. No regrets, i smile and give thanks, because He speaks straight into my heart and allows me to experience Him in a way which wouldn't have happened if it was just another ordinary sem. There is still work to be done. But then again, which sem with God will be ordinary? =)

Help me remember. Stone wall. Build up foundations, strong and pleasing in God's eyes and with wisdom. I look ahead with anticipation.

Week 61

2009-09-26T22:34:00.004+08:00

Week 61 - Tipsy, drowsy, sniffy, racey

The end of the first half of sem 1! A deserved break (yes, no lessons but full of projects). The end of AB005, AB228A. Brilliant. The F1 season (awfully vivid images of that hilarious AB114 final presentation), and a restructuring of CG.

NYCA1(old) -> NYCA1 (new) + NYCA3

Interesting split, though i must say that for the new A3 sisters, it would be good as well as they can understand each other better, being teachers to be and going through similar paths in their stint at NIE. As for the rest of us, it brings about a more concentrated mix of fellowship. Look forward.

F1. I was wondering how the advertising went for them, as well as how successful this season's event will be, whether how able they are to advertise and promote this mega event. (taking a quick glance at the TV set). Shall blog more about this next time.

I was pleasantly surprised when Wenjiang showed us the clip on the German Bundesliga. Here's the video, as i end my post.

Week 60

2009-09-19T23:11:00.004+08:00

Week 60 (end) - Nehemiah Series (rebuilding)

Saturday evening.
A sense of deja vu.
"i offer my life".

Interestingly, this song is replayed once again from Thu sub-D.

The sermon.
Nehemiah Chapter 4.
Rebuilding with opposition. Fierce opposition.

Making reference to the previous blog post, 0-2 down. It's like the close to the first half. The morale of the team is down. Head knowledge tells us, you need to do something, and not sit back and try to maintain status quo. Not to advance, but to rebuild. Rebuild in God's ways.

Alas, when you're 0-2 down, also making reference to Sat's sermon, psychological factors act against you.

1) Criticism (outward)
2) Threats (outward)
3) Discouragement (inward)

I stare long and hard at the worship song lyrics and frowned. It was just like God rebuking me once again. Fear of trying to reduce the deficit to 1-2 as a first step of rebuilding, because you fear having your defences left unguarded and bare. Thinking about going 0-3 down seems hard to imagine. This is when you really need God.

Criticism. Threats. Discouragement (self-doubt, lowering of self confidence because of past experiences, fear of saying the wrong things etc). Are they a concern for God? Why fear all these? In reality, things are not like, when it's 0-2 down, you say "let's restart the game to 0-0" and begin without making the same mistakes. The 2 goals conceded will still be there, because back when the game first started, you'd probably had not pre-empted much.

The head knowledge is there. But head knowledge without action is futile. Typing this post becomes meaningless. Head knowledge with action, without partnership with God, is also futile, as it lacks wisdom.

I will embrace each and every single road, smooth or rocky, with love. God's love. I will stretch to rebuild this with God. Criticism, threats, discouragement? Just bring it. Let not fatigue and weariness be excuses for anything that is negative in Your sight. God, i need You.

Ecc 3:1 - There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.

Rebuilding season. God's timing.

2009-09-18T00:17:00.001+08:00

Week 59-60

Arsenal's first game into Euro Champs League season 09/10, thursday morning 17.09.2009. Coming into the game with 2 consecutive defeats by Man C and Man U, 5 mins in, 2-0 down. Yet another defeat looms large. But watch on as they registered a comeback win. =)

Yes, setbacks and defeats ain't the most easy thing to deal with. But with patience and partnership with God, the ray of light is still warm and everlasting. 3-2. Victory? The road is still long.. (it's only just one game)

Particularly found the worship song today great. Offering our lives to God. Many times we do have to remind ourselves what and why are we here, that we do so because our God is a God who gives us strength, gives us hope, and most of all, gives us love, and we want to thank Him for all that He's done for us.

Can't wait for tmr. AB228A final lesson!

Nicodemus

Week 58

2009-09-04T18:59:00.001+08:00

Week 58 - The 21 gun salute

Sometimes i wonder. Does God fall ill? Tried picturing Him with a fever, blocked nose and tonsilitis, and still showering love on us. Random thoughts, though i won't be surprised if He does. =) Anyway, week 4 of school marked a physical battle, as many of us fall victim to illnesses that start to penetrate and work its way into our immune system. At this i'd like to pray for all who are sick right now, that God will just heal them quick and let them regain their efficiency in work and serving You.

Jiayou! The march is still long. =)

Week 57

2009-08-28T21:37:00.000+08:00

Week 57 - Tipping points

I give my all to you
Send me and I will go for you
To the ends of the earth
I'll follow after you
I want the world to know
Your love endures forever

Tell me and I'll obey
This is far greater than sacrifice
Trusting you and not myself
Will always lead to blessing
LORD HAVE YOUR WAY IN ME
NOT MY WILL, YOURS BE DONE

**Ever wondered what it's like praying to God and asking Him to "continue to test me"? I wondered after last saturday's service. Almost immediately i regretted it. Planning ahead for this week i thought it'll already be tight, but Sunday's 2 seminars plus Monday and Tuesday night perpetually took whatever energy was left of my carcass out of me. At the same time i feared. Now fatigue has 2 levels, level 1 is when you're tired and still have energy to talk crap and sing songs. Level 2 is when you're dead inside already, but still wandering around doing your daily activities like a zombie. I feared that as level 2 hits, i may say the wrong things. Do the wrong things. Moods cranky. Thoughts run wild and unnecessary negative thoughts start to hit like penetrative bullets that the devil has purposefully planned to stumble us. Worry. Anxiety. I feared all these. After all, i experienced some of these last 2 semesters. **

Here I stand within your presence
Longing for your touch
A thousand days cannot compare
To one day in your courts

Hold me now
And never ever let me go
My jesus, my precious saviour
I'm forever yours

**Level 2 hit. But i thank God for being so so faithful. He was there, all the while. I couldn't even bring myself to be angry/upset even when many situations went awry. That verse "come to me, and i will give you rest" stood out. I prayed once again. And He answered. CG time was never better, wonderful time of worship which i sensed how each of us is going through our own difficulties and challenges. I pray that God will continue to speak through us and refresh us for the week ahead, as well as a great time of service tomorrow and singing praises to Him. And i promise i'll take more rest. =) **

I will worship you forever
I will worship you

God bless,
KuangTing

Week 56

2009-08-22T00:02:00.002+08:00

Week 56 - Desert, week 2 (17/8-21/8)

Last in first out (LIFO). Had bros GFG just now, great time of fellowship and cooking. As well as the teaching, it was really useful, which reminded us about who we are as followers of Christ despite a week that is getting busier. As we were cooking i was suddenly reminded of my mum. Talk about good food. The food that we cooked were certainly edible, though there was room for improvement still. But while comments and "mmm.. nice" were coming around (prob cuz we were hungry ourselves), good food coming from Mum (all mothers who cook at home) often gets taken for granted in the long run (Say 20 years?). Which brought about a tinge of sadness. I must remember that at meal times, besides thanking God for the food, i must thank Mum for her effort and make more comments about the food on a consistent basis.

Been surviving 5-6 hours of sleep every day. Early days, late nights. Hardly get to be at home, or even at HQ. Tested, not just physically, mentally, but even more so emotionally. It's hard to show that joyful face even when ure pleased after a good day with God for example, and when ure tired, probably it'll just be cui, cui and more cui. Spiritually i thought this week taught me alot (OJT style) on reliance on God, seeking solace in His word and praying. The desert. A period of deprivation, yet that focus on Him becomes all the more clearer. Love.

Awed by You,
Kuang Ting

Week 55

2009-08-14T23:24:00.006+08:00

Week 55 - Desert or dessert?

God works in ways unfathomable. Brilliant. As Tim would put it on Tuesday, new lifestyle, God doing new works, i guess that's what kind of experience the first week of school would be. First, expectations just went up a few notches. Not just in our community, but also in classes as well. Second, loads of pruning and testing, and i sense that God is far from being done. Take this for example. Communication ain't the most natural thing for me to initiate, especially during weary and bogged down times. I realise i need to grow in that, among others.

What does money mean to you? This was one question posed to us during one of our first lectures. I found it intriguing as this question would inevitably show some of our inner thoughts and views in life, given the significance of money in our lives. As i scribbled down in my notes "Money = Paper for livelihood", we discussed among our groups and there were thoughts like "Money is a tool for buying things", "Money is the rewards and justifications of the effort put in" etc. But what struck me more was when comments like "Money is power/freedom" and "Money can buy you anything". So when the lecturer decided to question the latter question and ask if money could buy us love, i sensed there was a rush of thinking caps, as everyone paused to hear what reply came out after the initial laughter. Naturally, there was no reply. Made me think about the stark contrast between what we are exposed to the past few months as compared to the next few months. As the school term starts and workloads and stresses come in, i have my concerns.

But God is faithful. I am thankful for that, that even as He tests, He is there with us. And we need to believe that He does not intend to fail us, but train us to pass with flying colours. Only then will desert become dessert. As i end this blog journal i pray that the Acts 2:42-47 deal will come to pass. I pray that even as we get our heads into our school work and stressful times, that we do not forget our fundamentals. On a lighter note, we celebrated Seow Wei's birthday yesterday. =) I pray that her meditated verse (Deut 31:6) will come to pass, that she'll grow more courageous in the Lord. Also, the first day of the EPL kicked off, and Arsenal defeated Everton 6-1, a pleasant surprise indeed, after coming under heavy criticism for the lack of squad depth in the past few months. It's like the fall of Jericho, Everton just melted away.

Look forward to the weeks ahead. Exciting times await.

Blessed by You,
Kuang Ting

Week 54

2009-08-09T00:07:00.000+08:00

Week 54 - Prep for school

God never fails to amaze me. As if last sem's 21 AU weren't challenging enough. This sem, different sets of expectations, different situations. I look down at my timetable on thurs, Bam! 8.30am to 6.30pm lessons non stop. AB005, business case, 7 weeks of 2 cases per week chionging. 2 core modules, consultancy and compensation and benefits, heavy workload as well. AB214, level 2 of communication fundamentals (now advanced) proves to be another project filled module all the way. Desert, certainly! No time for complaints and whining. I was suddenly remembered of Wilson's Matt 6:33 picture with its tumors. Classic.

One of the days of the week, i had the privilege of sleeping the whole day! It's just like God trying to tell me, rest, rest, rest. Exciting times lie ahead (with a =D). That aside, our family was also privileged to have a guest from Taipei (exchange programme with my sis's school) for the past 2 weeks. It was a good time of sharing and understanding about Taipei's culture, about their education systems and stuff, debunking the "myths and legends" of Taipei = Shilin Food + Xi Men Ding Food.

Also a good week of meeting up with fellow brothers, and catching up with each other's lives before school starts. This sem proves to be a different experience, and i look forward, even with that little trepidation, to knowing God more and more through this period. 2 main focuses will be on servant leadership and agape love, even during dark hours. And importantly, to be single minded for the kingdom of God, dying to self centredness as well.

What's next after matric 09? In the area of service, ushering, that is. Had a great time of ushering today, a new experience and much to learn as well. CG time was extended after dinner, and it was really interesting to see old school jokes and riddles coming out of the box by the NIE teachers-to-be (Liyun, Gracia, Shanrui - Calyn was already stoning) and Taylen's "my turn" sign. I just silently hoped the people sitting beside us weren't too pissed off with the huge din we made. 9 August. Let me be a little patriotic by saying a happy 44th bday to our nation. After which it's back to NTU. Book in loh!

Week 53 - Forty days and nights of temptations?

2009-08-01T22:00:00.002+08:00

Week 53 - Forty days and nights of temptations?

Our minds are like marinated pork ribs. They take on the character of whatever we soak them in. Only after going through the fire, however, does our true flavour come out. Let's marinate our minds in the ways of the Lord. =)

Amidst a week of teachings and medicine and rest, came the doctor's interesting comment the first thing she saw me: "Must be your nose again right?" which hit the nail spot on. One year ago a bout of tonsilitis bogged me down for 2 whole weeks (the first 2 weeks of school), and i'm thankful that this time round it struck before August. The time of the year, where dust and incense and yes, cigarette smoke, hover harmlessly yet menacingly in the air.

Finally shopped! Good time of fellowship with Eng Seng, though i'm kinda sheepish about the fact that in the end i bought some stuff while he didn't find what he wanted. Also want to pray for Shanrui, that the Lord will pour out His harvest into her life as she lives her Christian walk in her next year on God's green earth. =)

Hate buffets. They tempt. =D FLEE...

Blessed in another week with God,
Kuang Ting

Not hallows nor horcruxes... just walking down memory lane

2009-07-25T12:41:00.002+08:00

Not hallows nor horcruxes... just walking down memory lane

I stare at my pimple in the mirror. Then that little bulge in my tummy that tells me I’m getting old. Hahaha. 1 year on, since the last time I blogged. And how things have changed. It’s hard describing how I’m feeling now, it just seems like a long time has passed.

Allow me to introduce myself once again. My name’s Nicodemus, Chinese name hasn’t changed (still Kuang Ting or KT for convenience), 22 years of age, studying in Nanyang Business School, member of Hope Church Singapore, and glad to be here blogging after 1 year.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. This movie strikes at the right time, week 52 of my walk with God. In this movie, Dumbledore leads Harry into a series of Pensieve moments, exploring past memories of his, in a bid to prepare Harry for his final battle with Voldemort the Dark Lord. Dark and in my opinion, exciting, times lie ahead. But for me, this year of preparation, 2009, isn’t quite over yet. I sense in my heart that God is not done with me in this period yet, that the final act before entering year 2 of my walk with Him is to finalize my reflections and really take stock of the condition of my heart.

There have been many feelings running up and down this past year. But one thing I really want to thank God for is the fact that He allows me to experience each and every single one of these feelings and embrace them, instead of choosing which one to embrace and others to avoid, by my own strength. Check this out. Happy. Sad. Angry. Peaceful. Proud. Nervous. Thankful. Confident. Hurt. And the list goes on.

Back to the Prince, it is interesting how they filmed this movie, given that so many details needed to be filmed properly and there will, undoubtedly, be a big question mark lingering at the end as to why Snape killed Dumbledore, at least for those who didn’t read the book or is not familiar with the storyline. Personally I felt that this was a good attempt for a movie. The actors played their part well, and it was a new angle seeing Hermione wrestle with her emotions as to whether her feelings for Ron was romantic, or purely friendship. The toughness (perhaps a little stiff) of Ginny also stood out here, not to mention Harry and Ron’s frequent heart to heart chats in the dorms which were particularly amusing.

1 year on @ Timothy’s place. The same swimming pool. Only, this time it’s just God and me. Tranquil. Amen. =)

2008-06-14T12:10:00.002+08:00

A brilliant start

EURO 2008, one week into it, we've seen the evolution of modern soccer move one notch higher. No longer is one man able to terrorise defences and change the course of the game. Football is about 11 men as 1, not a one man show. It is evident that teams with the strongest teamwork do better than teams which have star players and tend to rely on them. So far, Portugal, Spain and Netherlands have been really impressive, the Portugese defeating the Czech and the Turks by decent scorelines, Spain with a 4-1 rout of Russia, and the Dutch, oh my. 3-0 over world champs Italy and just this morning, 4-1 over 2006 WC losing finalists France. Which justified why i stuck to the Dutch for as long as i watched soccer. Hopefully they'll be able to go all the way. In the modern game now, he who hesitates loses. It only takes 15 secs for an attack from one end of the pith to the other. That's like how fast it takes to type 2 sentences. Such is the expectations nowadays.

Weekdays have never been this busy. Normally lunch hours would be time to catch forty winks at the rest area, but now it's continuous working/eating/working/EURO/msn-ing yak yak yak. Time passes super quick, and the IT fair's also under way le. Mid june signifies the time for application of hostel/uni admin matters, and gotta take note of the dates to apply. I realise im still abit playful and boyish at heart. ahha. neither good nor bad, but the responsibilities of an adult will come fast and i must be ready for it.

August beckons. When it comes, a new chapter unfolds..

2008-06-06T00:05:00.003+08:00

Singapore 3 Uzbekistan 7 - Simply, we're not that good.

LOL. haven't had time to blog about this episode yet. wah i was treated to one of the more entertaining scoreline matches, yet on 2nd Jun it was not to be our night. We turned up in red, the scoreline reflected red on our report cards, the Singapore defence saw red bulls charging at them like they've just drank Red Bull, outplayed, outmuscled, outgunned, outfought, outwitted, outshoned, outmatched, outpaced, haha i duno wat other words to describe. Goal 2010 might seem closer for us now, but so close, yet so far. Reality check. Ding.

Work has been busy thus far, with new temps joining us coming from various univerisities and we the slightly more senior birds (even though the new fellas are mostly older than us) do show them the ropes abit. They are Phillip, Josephine, Lester, Allen, Forest, Samson, Yuezhu and Li Yuan, all in tertiary education already, some in their first year, some in their second.

As June kicks off, it's time for KT the sleepyhead to wake up from his slumber... it's time for EURO 2008! More sleepless nights, can expect to go to work with half eyes open, more drama. By the end of june it'll mark the end of my 3rd and final month at UOB... and transition into uni life. There is a lot to learn, be it hard or soft skills, but like i said, i'l make it somehow. To move on is inevitable, time does not stop just for you, gotta keep up wif the pace. Anyway, i'm still Dutch for this EURO, even as their squad this year ain't at their best. Loyal fan k. haha...

Signing off...

2008-05-28T22:05:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow will be a better day (明天會更好)

Way back from 1985! Just about what i am thinking right now =)

(女)轻轻敲醒沉睡的心灵慢慢张开你的眼睛
(男)看看忙碌的世界是否依然孤独的转个不停
(女)春风不解风情吹动少年的心
(女)让昨日脸上的泪痕随记忆风干了
(女)抬头寻找天空的翅膀侯鸟出现它的印记
(男)带来远处的饥荒无情的战火依然存在的消息
(女)玉山白雪飘零燃烧少年的心
(女)使真情溶化成音符
(合)倾诉遥远的祝福
(女)唱出你的热情伸出你的双手让我拥抱着你的梦
(女)让我拥有你真心的面孔
(男)让我们的笑容充满着青春的骄傲
(男)为明天献出虔诚的祈祷
(女)谁能不顾自己的家园抛开记忆中的童年
(女)谁能忍心看那昨日的忧愁带走我们的笑容
(男)青春不解红尘胭脂沾染了灰
(女)让久违不见的泪水滋润了你的面容
(合)唱出你的热情伸出你的双手让我拥抱着你的梦
(合)让我拥有你真心的面孔
(合)让我们的笑容充满着青春的骄傲
(合)为明天献出虔诚的祈祷
(女)轻轻敲醒沉睡的心灵慢慢张开你的眼睛
(女)看看忙碌的世界是否依然孤独的转个不停
(女)日出唤醒清晨大地光彩重生
(女)让和风拂出的影像谱成生命的乐章
(合)让我们期待明天会更好
(女)唱出你的热情伸出你双手让我拥抱着你的梦
(男)拥抱着你的梦
(女)让我拥有你真心的面孔
(男)让我拥有你真心的面孔
(女)让我们的笑容充满着青春的骄傲
(男)青春的骄傲
(女)让我们期待明天会更好
(男)唱出你的热情伸出你双手让我拥抱着你的梦
(男)让我拥有你真心的面孔
(女)你真心的面孔
(男)让我们的笑容充满着青春的骄傲
(女)青春的骄傲
(合)让我们期待明天会更好

2008-05-26T21:02:00.002+08:00

One moment of silence...and listen...

Michael Jackson's Heal the World. Quite an oldie, but with recent happenings in China and Myanmar, this song came into my mind, again randomly. Enjoy.

What has our world become? Global warming, sea levels rising, more natural disasters, one can only say, cherish what you have right now, cherish life itself.

2008-05-25T10:16:00.003+08:00

The Beautiful Game Part 2

After the World Cup in June 1998, it was on to the English Premier League, arguably the most popular league in the world today. Back in 1998 Arsenal were the defending champs, but the season of 1998-1999 belonged to Manchester United. Though i am, and will never be, no fan of United, but that season was classic itself.

It was amazing how this team carried on battling even in the face of adversity and made a reputation for themselves as the Comeback Kings. The team of Peter Schemichel, Gary Neville, Phil Neville, Jaap Stam, Ronny Johnsen, Roy Keane, David Beckham, Paul Scholes, Ryan Giggs, Andy Cole, Dwight Yorke, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, Teddy Sheringham, Nicky Butt, Jesper Blomqvist etc, became legends after this season. The first clip is the last game of the Premier League, where Man U pipped Tottenham 2-1 and nicked the title by 1 point ahead of Arsenal.

The second clip has to go down as one of THE games of the decade.

After drawing 0-0 with Arsenal in the semi finals of the FA Cup, an English domestic tournament, the replay was just illuminating. Arsenal 1 Man Utd 2 was the scoreline, but what drama. David Beckham, for one, after being ridiculed by his country for his red card against Argentina in the World Cup, more than redeemed himself as he struck again to put Man U ahead. Dennis Bergkamp levelled for Arsenal, but then the goal from Man U's Ryan Giggs just left players and fans spellbound.

The third clip is the European final between Man U and Bayern Munich (the German champs) in neutral Barcelona, Spain. This match to determine who will go down as the champs of Europe. Man U, having won the Premier League and the FA Cup, were chasing the Treble, 3 major trophies in the season. 90 minutes in a match, plus injury time (a few minutes), and this match highlighted why United are the comeback kings, as they won the trophy not in the 90 minutes of play, but in the dying minutes of injury time, from 0-1 down to 2-1 up. Enjoy.

By the way, i support Arsenal. LOL.

2008-05-23T23:48:00.003+08:00

The Beautiful Game Part 1

Enjoy... Me the soccer fanatic all these years... here's how it started...

Holland 2 Argentina 1 (the match that started my support with the Dutch, World Cup 1998 Quarter Finals). The Dutch in their classic orange kit, Argentines in their blue and white strip.

Match facts: Both sides were very even heading into this match, boasting players (now legends) like Bergkamp(my all time fav), Overmars, Davids, De boer brothers, Kluivert, Batistuta, Ortega, Veron, Simeone etc. Classic match. By the way, the whole of the tournament i backed the Dutch. Lol. This was one classic moment.

2008-05-21T22:58:00.002+08:00

The days passes so fast...

Already midweek. Another gym day, another late night. One thing i like most about gym is the aftermath, when you don't have to feel guilty about eating and eating and eating cuz you already burn out so much! Cannot believe it sial. Munched on almost 7 bucks worth of food for dinner. And that's not fastfood priced food, that's normal hawker food. LOL. Someone pls tell me to control myself.. hahahaha.. anyway a very packed schedule, today just met up wif my senior, tmr another one, weekends packed as well.. ahh gotta take some winks off in the bus sial.

ok late liao.. sleep!

2008-05-19T22:34:00.002+08:00

Confessions from one's deja vu (free verse)

I need not
Applause from an admiring audience
Our reality glistened; of
Pride
Not liberty
That infiltrates the very pulse
Which drives the perhaps
Empty vessel

We wear masks, facades
Everything it takes
To live in a masquarade of gleaming gold and superficial successes
Entrapped in our ever-lusting automobile,
Convicted by our credits
Of which emulated
Was now a frightful and tentative child.

Homeward bound,
We charge to its evercharging face,
Skirting the glances from the mutes.
The saltish breath of the signing waves
Crashes with tomorrow's grounds
As if knowing of the dusk's retreat
Victorian's wisdom
Falls on deaf ears
Like hollowed bellowed echo

The forlorned language of love,
these juxtaposition (odious comparison)
Is only the tip of the iceberg
If progress only seeks
Not understands and listens
Then
One shall not bleed poetry
To stain the blueprints of our past's tomorrow

If only poetry
Could drum up courage
Reform the economic policies and politicians
And bake a million loaves of bread
My presence needs no apology.

Some random thoughts here and there. Anyway it was a good day today, went ktv with my sec sch friends. I somehow realised that i don't feel like singing that much, just like before anymore. Somewhat just preferred listening to others sing. So in the end it was alot of female vocals, me and my other guy fren were just practically resting (LOL) in the room. What a farce. Anyway so long, gotta work tmr...sleep early!

2008-05-16T23:34:00.001+08:00

哈哈。我想這是我生平第一次以華文來寫部落格﹐也是當兵兩年以來首次接觸華文﹐所以先以簡單的方式來寫吧。

六月雪

忽然從不同方向的小細節小靈感想起這‘六月雪’
想起小時電視節目‘鐘馗’﹐以這‘六月雪’為連續劇的小主題。
也以足球迷矚目的歐冠決賽的寒冷地點莫斯科聯想起‘六月雪’
更是為了全球變暖索造成的天氣轉變﹐從年底的雪季換成年中的冬季。

五月晴﹐六月雪﹐七月又會是如何呢﹖

2008-05-16T00:01:00.002+08:00

Why they still remember me?

Hai. The dreaded letter of mobilisation for reservist. Sianzz...................

Lol. In a blink of an eye, it's mid may already. Nothing's changed, just that life's been getting better with each day and getting more purposeful. I think i'm really getting somewhat lazy these days, like ehh slack lah dun chiong/pia so hard liddat. haha. slack and slack. got time sleep, got food eat, got work, chop chop do, chop chop finish, then can slack again. just like the good old days in army.

Day by day passes super fast now, and sometimes i can just doze off while say, blogging here, super shag. But i will try to keep blogging every now and then so that i don't lose touch with my languages as time passes by. Tomorrow i'll try chinese, i think already rusty beyond repair already. So long....

2008-05-13T23:11:00.003+08:00

The little things in everyday life

One day. 24hrs. One week. 7 days. One hour. 60min. One min. 60 seconds. These are just mere statements of how time is broken down. Time. A powerful phenomenon of which people speak of, as time flashes by in a whirl. I was out shopping with my frens a couple of weeks ago, when we chanced upon this shirt in Giordano(if i din rem wrongly). Black with gold words, it read: Soon your life will flash by. Make sure it's worth watching. I laughed inside. Another one of these quotes, yet so cliche yet very much true.

Time, and how to manage it. Many people talk about time management and their different ways of making use of it. When i was a teenager I used to like to think that if one day isn't spent productively and achieving a certain aim it would be considered wasted, and i'd feel bad about it. To tell me to read self help books would be as good as saying i needed help, and childishly, i didn't like the idea of being thought of as someone who needed help. So much for all the self consciousness. As a result? I don't learn.

There is also another favourite question pertaining to time. If you could turn back time, what would you change? Lol. Just like perfectionist players (in video games) like to save and replay if they lost, and to go through it again an again just to make it right, i would think that if i really had the choice of turning back time, there are just too many things that i would want to change. HOWEVER. Things happen for a reason. And that's why the movie Butterfly Effect was all the more impactful. That going back in time to change things would probably mean that our fates would change 180 degrees and even become totally warped, not to our liking certainly, simply because many things are beyond us.

Moving forward, there are quite a couple of things i'd like to do before the start of uni. I'll categorise them under Health, Wealth and Relationship.

A. Health

1) To keep fit and bulk up, hit the gyms often
2) To maintain a reasonably healthy =p diet, of course the more calories the better, though not too much unhealthy fats

B. Wealth

1) To stick to my job all the way even if i get bored
2) To do more reading up (i've gotten a couple of books for self reading)
3) To understand the subject of Business a little better before uni, especially pertaining to current affairs and economics. As for the more intricate Business stuff like Actuarial Science and Marketing, ahh leave it to uni bah. Lol.

C)Relationship

1) To keep up with frens through leisure/serious/crappy/fun activities, be it out in the blazing sun or in the airconditioned room, to find out how we are doing with our lives.

2) To appreciate my family even more than before, to spend quality time with them

Goal setting is important, yet i don't quite believe in going into the nitty gritty details of goals as of now, cuz for me it's just going to be another case of paralysis analysis.

Anyway, this post is getting a bit too serious. Getting very tired liao, tomorrow will be a great day. so long...

2008-05-11T10:48:00.003+08:00

Happy mother's day!

May 11, 2008, another mother's day. Some call it commercial, others take it as a day to celebrate with their mums or spend quality time with her. Though it may sound very nice, as in Mother's Day, taking the time off to be with someone you hold so very dear, but something that has always occured to me, or to many of us, that Mother's Day is just an excuse, in fact every day is Mother's Day if we do something special for Mum, a little every day. But truth is we don't.

Prior to Mother's Day, every morning before i set out for work, i'll hear tis program on radio called Tokyo Tower. Originated from Japan (duh), this short segment on radio is actually a serial that depicts how a mother does stuff for her son out of pure love, like all mothers do, but the son does not appreciate it and finds his mum troublesome. Though, for one, the son wanted to bring his mum to Tokyo Tower to see the scenery. Eventually, the mother passed away, the son was full of regret, what he brought up to the Tokyo Towers wasn't his mum, but his mum's picture. Sad ending. Lots of tears.

So how? What could have been? Is it even relevant if one finally finds the answer after your loved ones pass away and nothing can bring them back? Truth be told, no one wants to live a life of regret. I don't. I accept that things happen for a reason. It's true that if someone whom i care for walks out of my life, i will undoubtedly be very sad, eventually ngei ngei still pulling myself together and getting on with life, albeit with a slightly heavier heart.

If i had a choice now, i would choose to make a positive difference in others lives. No one knows what is going to happen in the future. I am a pragmatist, and i am fearful too. But despite of my uncertainties, i will take that step forward, because if i don't, i know i will regret, and i certainly don't want to.

Life's not meant to be stressful or pressurizing. And i don't want to stress myself or people around me. 平常心 ba, and one'll be happy. I don't want to hide from my fears, i welcome it, because ultimtately fear is indeed an important part of our family of emotions. Ok time to go out, a wonderful day with Mum awaits. Peace out =)

2008-05-10T00:43:00.002+08:00

It's the weekends again!

Nothing much to write here tonight, partly cuz i'm thoroughly shagged out after work and gym. So here's a song by Takashi Sorimachi, actor of Great Teacher Onizuka, this song is called "Poison". One of my favs.

Used to watch this show back in 2000 thereabouts, then rewatched it again in 2006. Great inspiration for folks like you and me.

2008-05-08T23:22:00.002+08:00

An extraordinary day in an ordinary day

I'd like to tribute this post to this word called "stress". Something that tingled my thoughts a little, yet something that has been lingering like a shadow in my life. Stress. My workplace happens to be at a call centre, where stress management is important for one to be even carrying out daily work, especially when handling difficult customers. Customers who don't give a hoot about what you have to say, customers who have that i'm right you must be wrong mentality. Thankfully, my calls haven't been tricky. And i'd like to attribute it to a few moments in my previous job at Dell, plus other nitty gritty stuff that made me see through all this.

I am someone who takes things seriously. A little too serious at times for my own good. Something that can be good, yet backfires on me other times. When i first started out at Dell i had goals. Goals to achieve, hitting sales targets, talking to customers, doing successful sales pitches, and at one point of time, i felt really great, as i accomplished my goals one after another. Till the point came when i got stressed. Not for the first time. Some customers are just plain difficult to handle. Just out making trouble for you, just because you're a salesperson, doing service for them, and the expectations of difficult customers tend to be very high.

I remember one stressful moment when at least a dozen chinese prc students came into the shop to order laptops. Well the bargaining began of course, and cuz they didn't have credit cards (duh) so i went with them to the bank to do a cashier's order, plus all the bargaining and stuff about "your colleague gave me a 50 dollar discount, why not you?" yada yada. Plus an indian couple who also went with us to the bank to do the cashier's order. Nothing less than chaotic. The bank people literaly had to quieten our whole expedition down cuz it was a din at the bank. My head went big. But at least i had the sales. However, the next time a dozen indian customers came into the shop, we were all like: noo.................!! In the end we sat by the side and watched one of our poor saboed colleagues get himself super stressed, buried in the avalanche of indian men. So much for the enthusiasm. This was when stress can be funny. At least for those watching.

Though..other times it ain't funny any more when the customer does not understand your plight, screams over the phone and demands stuff from you or he'll start complaining. Unfortunately, this case happened when i was on off at a chalet, damn i hated it when customers start bothering me with stuff on our off days. Well normally monitoring their orders already takes up a chunk of your time, and i thought i had settled my outstanding cases before going to the chalet. However, this particular customer had to call upon my hp, my mistake too in picking up, and sorta affected my mood for the night. After which thinking about that incident, i made a mental note not to be so "responsible" for my clients. Even if i was God lol.

That's how workaholics are born, and i know that i am a potential workaholic myself. Thing is, when to be a workaholic, when to just chill? Our minds are not computers. Even computers need rest. There must be a healthy balance. The other extreme, stoning, is also a definite no-no, btw.

So today, i saw this colleague of mine break down because of a customer's harsh words. Several people were looking at her, and at that moment i started to feel for her. Yes, being responsible for your customers is a good thing. But when the other party does not appreciate your efforts and demand more from you, then i suppose it might just be more worth to just take it easy and laugh at the customer's supposed angry expression, albeit innately that is. Why burst your brain cells for nothing?

Looking back (i somehow realised that looking back isn't such a bad thing, i used to resent it), i feel for myself too. Getting stressed over things which you cannot change, which is beyond you, or even shedding tears over it (wah that was super paiseh, but as for tears i'll leave it to next time), that's just not worth your time. 24 hours 7 days a week, doing little things that make us smile, should be the agenda instead. Have a break, have a kit kat! (When you're furrowing your eyebrows and tensing up that is).

What's past is past. However, stress in the past will become stress in the future if one does not know how to control this bad habit consciously. 3 years down the road, when our batch graduates from uni, our future selves might even be strangers to us now. Though.... strangers with better habits. 3 months left to uni, it seems a long way from army now, an even longer way from jc/sec sch, yet it's never been closer. Stress? nah. a little will do.

2008-05-07T23:52:00.002+08:00

Personality Secrets in Your Mp3 Player

Once past saying 'hello' and 'how are you?' to someone you've just met, what is next? How do we make friends and get to know other people? Psychologists have talked about the importance of body language, physical appearance and clothing but they've not been so keen on what we actually talk about. A recent study put participants in same-sex and opposite-sex pairings and told them to get to know each other over 6 weeks. Analysing the results, they found the most popular topic of conversation was music. What is it about music that's so useful when we first meet someone and what kind of information can we extract from the music another person likes?

"how good is music as a measure of personality?"The number of people who talked about music was surprisingly high. In the first week on average 58% of the pairs discussed music compared to 37% of all the other categories of conversation combined. Other categories included books, movies, TV, football and clothes.

Why then do we use music as a first port of call in getting to know another person? We probably think that music is indirectly telling us something about the other person's personality. For this reason, the second question this study tried to answer was: how good is music as a measure of personality?

Top 10 personalities
To measure this, participants were asked to judge people's personality solely on their top 10 list of songs."...a person's openness to experience was best communicated by their top 10 list of songs."This was compared to participants results on a standard type of personality test measuring the big five personality traits: openness to experience, extraversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness and emotional stability. Overall the results showed that music preferences were reasonably accurate in conveying aspects of personality. Of the five traits, it was a person's openness to experience that was best communicated by their top 10 list of songs, followed by extraversion and emotional stability. On the other hand, music preferences didn't say much about whether a person was conscientious or not.

What some music preferences mean for personality:
Likes vocals: extraverted
Likes country: emotionally stable. On the face of it, this is bizarre really because country music is all about heartache. Either the emotionally stable are attracted to country music or it has a calming effect on the unstable!
Likes jazz: intellectual
This raises the question of why people listen to particular types of music. One theory is that people simply find some music more pleasant for aesthetic or cognitive reasons. Another is that people use music to regulate their mood: I want to get hyper for a night out so I put on some dance music. Another is that music is related to identity; people listen to music that expresses they way they see themselves. It seems likely that a combination of all these theories is probably true.

"...this finding might not hold in different age-groups."One really important caveat for this study was that the average age of the participants was around 18 so this finding might not hold in different age-groups. My experience is young people talk about music much more than older people. This raises the question of what, for example, might be the most common topic of conversations for other age-groups getting acquainted. Any suggestions?

Despite this limitation it seems that talking about music might be a very powerful way to make a connection with another person.

I like both slow ballads and fast, catchy tunes. How about you?

2008-05-07T00:19:00.002+08:00

Make It Personal: Improving the Common Denominator in all Your Relationships

Jesus taught an important lesson about relationships. Essentially, what He said is that if any of us tries to improve a relationship by getting the other person to change (working hard to get the speck out of the other person’s eye), energies are being expended in the wrong direction. The place to begin is with our own failures (the plank or beam in one’s own eye).
Alone with God, simply ask, “Lord, what’s wrong with me? What are my faults? What are my sins?” Get your pencil and paper ready, for that is a prayer God will answer. Make a list of your sins.
Go back over the list and agree with God that these are wrong and, at the same time, thank Him for Christ’s death on the cross and therefore for forgiveness. Work through your list and accept God’s forgiveness for every past failure. God does not intend us to live under the emotional load of past failures. We can be forgiven.

The Apostle Paul wrote, “So I strive always to keep my conscience clear before God and man.” I believe that this is the most important principle of mental health and, consequently, of healthy relationships. We empty our conscience toward God when we confess our sins. We empty our conscience toward another person when we go to him or her and confess our failures.
Any time you become aware of friction or ill feelings in your relationships, the first question should be “Lord, what’s wrong with me?” As you see where you are wrong, confess it, accept God’s forgiveness, and ask His Spirit to control you. People do not “make us miserable.” We choose to be miserable. The immediate emotion that arises after the action of another person may be automatic and beyond your control, but what you do with that emotion is your decision.
If you are willing to search your own heart and confess any wrong discovered, then you can feel at peace, even though you are not particularly happy with the situation at hand. You then can be a positive force for change, rather than compounding the problem with your attitude.

Somehow through these couple of years, i have had a few brushes with the religious/spiritual side of my soul, and this was always something worthwhile knowing and thinking about. To feel totally at ease confessing your mistakes ain't easy, but as i found out, it ain't difficult at all either. All it takes is a little courage. And speaking of God, I remember myself standing in front of my platoon as an instructor and lecturing them about their unwillingness to ask questions because of the fear of making them look silly in front of their peers (equivalent of losing face). It goes like this: God gave us a golden mouth to open up and ask, so why aren't you asking(in typical army tone)? Ironically, when i look at the mirror after that, i think to myself, so why am i not doing it? I begin to laugh.

2008-05-05T23:16:00.002+08:00

The "why" of keeping your keyboard clean:

Did you know? Eating after typing on a dirty, dusty keyboard is as good as eating after touching a toilet seat! Lol. Found this article in the newspapers, sounds really scary, the things we associate with "not dirty" can actually contain so much germs. I must make it a point to clean my keyboard every now and then, most importantly, not to touch my face/eat food after working on the comp!

2008-05-04T01:35:00.002+08:00

1/2 a year later...

So long since i blogged! For a start, i thought i'd just put in my few cents worth about "Your conscience or your job".

"In every job we do, there are bound to be situations for us to make difficult ethical judgment calls. Luckily for most people such situations are rare. But if we constantly have to choose between going against our conscience and keeping our job, then it's time to make a decision. Ethical issues normally fall under 3 categories: the industry issue, company issue, or a few individuals."

In Chinese there's a saying: 人在江湖身不由己. Sometimes we have got to do what we don't exactly feel comfortable with doing, just because the system is beyond what you as an individual is capable of changing. Be it social dynamics or office hierarchy, it works the same everywhere. In army lingo it's called " by left", the opposite of "by right". At the same time, it's always healthy to stay true to our personalities and not let the temptation of promotion or glory obscure our already tunnelled visions. Or worse, to get lost in the corporate world that we don't even know ourselves anymore.

The importance of this is that we're all going to be entering the workforce proper in a couple of years time. To start with a good habit is always necessary, but more necessary than not, to develop the right mentality towards work so that we can at least enjoy our job better, rather than always looking at the clock, counting down towards the end of the day. After all, we're going to be spending 2/3 of our conscious hours at work, so why not make the best out of it?

Time to knock off liao. Lol. Ciaoz!

why no 300 bucks???

2007-07-01T01:40:00.000+08:00

Yup, the end of the month.

Tmr marks the start of July. Time flies sial. The 3 big letters are getting distinctly clearer day by day...

Now we have lull. The "we" refers to Leopard coy... yes no more Orion liaoz, though i don't think the "onion" smell will go off even after ORD =p. Though they say lull, meaning no recruits, we are free to go for our off if we don't have anything on, but many a time we still find ourselves in the camp doing stuff. By stuff i mean stuff like ahm training(yes the 21km, no avoiding it), and refreshment courses for the next batch and for the new sergeants, for many batches to go(wahhaha).

Weekends are getting more interesting nowadays, busy, in other words. I guess many of us have been to churches before, and many have been converted to Christians with the help of their friends/relatives. Now I'm at this point where I'm not sure of whether to take the step forward and convert. Ah but i guess i shud give thanks to seniors like Ernie and Dillon who intro-ed and enlightened me on what Christianity is about, to cleanse my brain a little and made me see things in a different way. A big thank you to Sze as well for also making the effort to welcome me into her cell group. Well i suppose i'll leave it to Fate to decide bah. Shun Qi Zi Ran... if it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

Anyway, yawns. It's past 2 liao. Time to knock off. Ciao...

hello leopard, good bye orion...

2007-06-16T22:38:00.000+08:00

good bye orion, hello leopard(once more)...

Well it's been too long since i updated this blog. okay. the batch has pop-ed, 02/07, after which went out wif the guys for the whole day chilling and partying in kbox =) whooo..>!!! long time nv go K feeling very shiok, even though abit of generation gap in the sense that the songs they picked and my choice were slightly off freq... wahhahah... i tink im getting old...but then again, im glad that this batch of recs got some good singers around.

after this batch im going leopard...for good. this came as a surprise when i heard the news, i must admit. after being in orion for so long, there was indeed the typical bu-she-de feeling as all my colleagues were there and orion will never be the same again in a few mths time. but oh well. all the best to da orion guys. will miss ya all.

in a few short mths time, going to ord loh... now i see the 38th batch starting to collect their ord file, the 37th haf gone, time flies. i seriously tink that when i ord, im gonna miss life in tekong. sounds crazy? no lah..

for now, enjoy da off!

what a week...

2007-05-14T20:53:00.001+08:00

yeah, field camp's over...

perhaps many of us might think that taking field camp after field camp seems boring and mundane, doing the same things over and over again till the point of insanity. but, to me, each field camp comprises of different sets of recruits, and each one of them is different. even though the instructors may stay the same, but each field camp instructors come and go, some ord-ing, some starting their first batch full of angst digging the toilet holes.

as the sun sets in permatang, we got to experience a magnificent sun-setting view at our first field camp site. made us forget that we are actually in camp. wahhaha.

got to fire the gpmg for the second time at bic. looks fun to fire, is actually fun to fire, but the after effects are not fun lah. cleaning is one big headache, not to mention the missing parts that you never knew existed. the truth behind the beauty huh.

ok... time to book in again for another confinement...here we go again...

confinement over...

2007-04-28T22:59:00.000+08:00

SHAG...

This new batch really reminded me of my own batch, being the direct enhanced ippt-silver-and-above batch. but tremendously mischievous. 18 days of confinement indeed put their fires off abit, but come bookout, their spirits soared like nothing before. so did we. wahahhaa...

sometimes we get really bored and nothing to do during our rare free time. most of these times we would be talking and talking and irritating one another, other times just reflecting. tarot cards was also on the house, as we helped ourselves to some tarot reading, courtesy of one of our ex-recruit, now permstaff.

naturally i asked him what was his "verdict" of my character analysis after we analysed a few of our colleagues'. he mentioned that sometimes i would stop myself from moving forward and achieving something when i actually want that something. sixth sense, he said, but i find it quite true.

but why?? is it because im just too passive? or is it i think im not good enough? ponder...

now then, how well do you noe urself? are you sure of what you are doing and where you are heading?

Then... The parody.

2007-04-17T13:59:00.001+08:00

Then... the parody.

This was after Star Wars, where this young jedi named Anakin Skywalker became known as Darth Vader. So all too familiar. Kinda cheesy too, but there you go. The parody of American Pie, this is "Anakin Guy" =)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DO7yUpXZA7w

American Pie

2007-04-17T13:30:00.000+08:00

This one's a song by Don Mclean, an all time classic which was first introduced when i was in pri 4, by this teacher Preston Tan, our then-form teacher. An interesting man, he brought in this song which will be remembered for life. enjoy... the title's American Pie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsZFiMo8TIc

A long, long time ago
I can still remember how that music used to make me smile
and I knew if I had my chance
that I could make those people dance
and maybe they'd be happy for a while
but February made me shiver
with every paper I delivered
bad news on the door step
I couldn't take one more step
I can't remember if I cried
when I read about his widowed bride
but something touched me deep inside
the day, the music, died.
So...

CHORUS
Bye, bye Miss American Pie
drove my Chevy to the levy
but the levy was dry
an them good ol' boys were drinkin whiskey and rye
singin this will be the day that I die
this will be the day that I die.

Did you write the book of love
and do you have faith in God above
if the bible tells you so
now do you believe in rock n' roll
can music save your mortal soul
and can you teach me how to dance real slow?
Well I know that you're in love with him
cuz I saw you dancin in the gym
you both kicked off your shoes
and I did those rhythm and blues... ...
I was a lonely teenage bronkin buck
with a pink carnation and a pick up truck
but I knew I was out of luck,
the day the music died.
I started singin...

Chorus

Now for ten years we've been on our own
and moss grows fat on a rollin stone
but that's not how it used to be
when the jester sang for the king and queen
in a coat he borrowed from James Dean
and a voice that came from you and me
oh and while the king was looking down
the jester stole his thorny crown
the courtroom was adjourned
no verdict was returned
and while Lenin read a book on Marx
the quartet practiced in the park
and we sang dirges in the dark
the day the music died.
We were singin...

Chorus

Helter Skelter in a summer swelter
the birds flew off with a fallout shelter,
eight miles high and fallin fast,
it landed foul on the grass
the players tried for a forward pass
with the jester on the sidelines in a cast
now the half-time air was sweet perfume
while the sergeants played a marching tune
we all got up to dance
oh but we never got the chance
oh as the players tried to take the field
the marching band refused to yield
do you recall what was revealed
the day the music died.
We started singin...

Chorus

Oh and there we were all in one place
a generation lost in space
with no time left to start again
so come on,
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick
Jack Flash sat on a candle stick
cuz fire is the devils only friend
oh and as I watched him on the stage
my hands were clinched in fists of rage
no angel born in hell
could break that satan's spell
and as the planes climbed high into the night
to light the sacrificial rite
I saw satan laughing with delight
the day the music died.
He was singin...

Chorus

I met a girl who sang the blues
and I asked her for some happy news
but she just smiled and turned away
I went down to the sacred store
where I'd heard the music years before
but the man there said the music wouldn't play
and in the streets the children screamed
the lovers cried, and the poets dreamed
but not a word was spoken
the church bells all were broken
and the three men I admire most
the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost
they caught the last train for the coast
the day, the music, died
and they were singin...

Chorus

They were singin...
Bye, bye Miss American Pie
drove my Chevy to the levy but the levy was dry
an them good ol' boys were drinkin whiskey and rye
singin this will be the day that I die.

a sense of deja vu

2007-04-16T22:15:00.000+08:00

A definite sense of deja vu.

The start of another new batch, 02/07. Many changes took place in between the 01/07 and 02/07 period, namely the lull period from mid march to mid april. For instance, the insertion of the 41st batch of specialists from sispec and the gruelling training programme which included weapon presentation on the 2nd day(siao eh... how they expect us to finish teaching smart 4, id tag, procedure of drawing arms, wearing of boots, marching, sizing up for the presentation and all the admin work within 2 days?!) By the time we finished the weapon presentation proper, we were really shagged out. Just glad to finish so much within that crammed period. More was to come. Because this is a direct enhanced batch, there were only 9 wks to toggle around with. Time is not on our side this time. Every day seemed like a race, a race to complete what's to be done as well as to instil discipline in the new recruits. Thankfully permstaff do get some privileges like clearing of offs to at least rest at home and yes, update this blog =)

For one, it really reminded me of my own time as a recruit, because we, too, came in under the same circumstances(jc napfa silver and above, 9 wks direct enhancement). Behaviour also the same as us last time, pompous and egoistic. I don't mean all of them, but the general impression was certainly all too familiar. Oh well. They need some brushing up.

okay. getting tired. gotta sleep or else no energy to go out tmr.
jus a quote we all like to say - just shut up and do ur work lah...bodoh...

buaiz...

Butterfly effect...

2007-04-07T11:33:00.000+08:00

Okay... time for another clip. This one's from the movie "Butterfly Effect", one in which touched me deep inside because of its simliarities to my life and why time is such a powerful phenomenon. Ending song's by Oasis, "Stop crying your heart out", absolutely love that song=) A wonderful movie, highly recommended! Enjoy... =)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPssRsMfs5U

Good Friday!

2007-04-06T21:18:00.000+08:00

Good Friday!

Okay... 2 more days before i start my confinement... today birthday presents were on the menu, as I went out wif my dear family for a good meal, as well as to pick my gift. Excited sia... finally turning 20. Alas, so unfortunately, that special day is to be spent in camp. Confinement!!!! sianz... but come to think of it, though it is always possible to take off, I'd rather not take just to come out on that day... i think i'd be happier in camp, where all my camp mates are. Gawd, my sis gave me some fake pimple pills, that mean girl. Okay lah... pimples are considered a thing of the past le... but still got abit of scar sia... better go for facial soon.

Oh well. nth to write le. sayonara!

kT

It only seems last week...

2007-04-05T21:43:00.000+08:00

It only seems last week...

02/07 is my 3rd full batch, 4th set of recruits considering the 04/06 leopard batch. How time flies. During the 04/06 period when we just came in as fresh sergeants from sispec aslc, we were still considered "xin jiao" - new birds. Everything we also do, everything we must learn. The bulk of the DI duties fell to us, and field camp was more like a training session for us.

The leopard 04/06 batch, though short (barely a month and a half), was by far the most memorable as it was my very first batch. Looking back, some of the memories still linger, especially the frequent visits to SBL with Jihad and some of the other leopard specs. It was almost like a war, the sergeants were always trying to protect each other's backside from the warrant officers who would dish out punishments for us at any sign of misdeed. I suppose we didn't kena as much only because we weren't permanent specs there. Still, it was one of the better batches as the recruits were motivated ex-poly students with a lot of life. Seeing them progress each day gave me reasons to smile in an otherwise gloomy confined place. Though many would say tekong is the best place to be because of the instructor job, fact is that freedom never seem to appear as prominent in the good points list.

In addition, Leopard pl 3 04/06 had a deep impact on me not only as an instructor, but as a person. My PC, Warrant Lim Chin Yeong (aka yandao lim, aka my mentor, i duno wat else we called him) said this to us at one point of time:

"Only when your personal stuff is settled can you concentrate fully on your work. "

Though it was just a simple sentence without any hidden meaning, fact is that we often mix our personal problems and thoughts with work and let it affect us. Our platoon was just like a family. He was like a godfather, we were like his sons. Any disagreements could be solved easily, if not once he stepped into the picture and put his leg up on the chair in his typical "ah beng" pose we knew we were in for it(haha...not so aggressive la). He was also the one who revitalised that energy into us in army, the urge to do things properly, not because you want to impress upon others or any other motive, but because you really want to do it. im grateful for all that.

Once back in Orion we took the PES C 04/06 batch. My first look at my section and i was like, wow. one was covered in tattoos, one was so round he just reminded me of the smiling buddha back in taiwan, one was already married, and one i even doubted whether he was actually PES C because of his well toned body. 13 guys from all walks of life, from fat to skinny to pai kia to refined, all of them share something similar. all of them has a health problem. i still remember sitting down and asking them one by one to explain to me what on earth their problem was, something so reminiscent of a doctor. as the days passed there were the ever frequent trips to the medical centre, so much so that it became my second home in camp other than my own bunk. attendance was a wee bit complicated given that all of them had a status, and it became pointless to give them status tags if they weren't to become a permanent asset of the no. 4 uniform. field camp (field excursion more like it) was boring, every single day they would go back to bunk and sleep. zZzZz... after 7 weeks they eventually passed out, but not before our heads got big and they got big too owing to their lack of exercise. lol.

01/07 ptp batch came just a few days after 04/06 POP (no rest at all =( ) and confinement again. this time round we didn't have the luxury of lull period, plus the fact that all were jc boys with loads of aspirations. This batch was quite a love-hate batch in my opinion, because on our part the recruits were sometimes just annoying as they can do the stupidest things that we could ever imagine, but yet some were just being funny cocksters that you can't help but laugh. On their part welfare just seemed to be equalvalent to harsh and unreasonable training, given the numerous night PT and the never-ending insulting that we dished relentlessly like a avalanche of bombs on them. Yet, they needed quite lot of "whacking" if they actually wanted to be able to survive in command school. ZUO REN NAN arh...

This was a batch in which i finally decided to discard that "rationale and welfare sergeant" image and play bastard with them. But in the end i realised that it just wasn't natural. it just felt odd being the baddest and unpredictable. It went all the way to irrational and emo (PMS they call it) and it wasn't easy for them as well as for me. Well, towards the end it was just like "another batch passed out". Meaning, half time for us, lull period's approaching. March beckons.

So now, after the so'called lull where we didn't get to enjoy our off and leave properly. sometimes we were at home relaxing, sometimes we were in camp doing outfield urban training. sometimes we were at some course, sometimes we were at chalet without any civilian mood for enjoying. neither here nor there huh. As 10 Apr approaches, the 02/07 batch would be one to look forward to. At the same time, it spells the end of orion pl 3 since 04/06 pes c. Faisal (PS) is clearing his leave and Weibin is moving on to pl 1. In comes Iqbal as PS and new spec Kok Siong. Hopefully pl 3 will keep its culture like before and work together as one. And i suppose it's time to be me again, as being the reel just doesn't seem natural. With that i sign off, with confinement of almost 21 days beckoning. Wah like taiwan sia 21 days... only that $$ wouldn't seem so much of a concern being in camp =) tataz...

---------Always look on the bright side of life - every darkest sky has a shining ray-------------

a beautiful song...

2007-04-04T19:11:00.000+08:00

hey there! today's a rather serene and peaceful day and i don't really have much to write. so here's a clip that i wish to share, it's a music video from final fantasy x, one of my favs =) enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIV2qCtI61E

Ego - good or bad? / The only constant in life is change.

2007-04-03T23:40:00.000+08:00

Ego - good or bad?/The only constant in life is change...

Everything in this world needs a balance. You can't do without it, yet too much of it stirs negative vibes. A very good example would be the human ego. Ego often associates itself with the male, as males normally portray themselves as the stronger(at least physically) sex, even though with the rise of feminism the female also starts to show their female ego in recent years. Many would feel that being egoistic is something negative, not socially accepted and detested because it is just so annoying you don't want to have anything to do with it. But yet, without any ego, one wouldn't have any "character" at all.

More often than not we get angry or upset because something or someone has touched that sensitive button of ours - our ego. We feel threatened, which in turn causes us to be on the defensive and say or do things that are not accepted by others. But here's the weird part: We might be ego towards some people, but yet not so towards others, and for somepeople, being egoistic might just be non-existant. Why? Simply because of the level of threat. A former egoistic bodoh, my ego was crushed, renewed and crushed again in the space of 2 years(by many people la, including my sis, haha...). Confidence also fluctuated like the stock market, unpredictable like the wind. Then came NS, where it served as a place to escape from all my worries and troubles. Facing it seemed an inevitability, especially when i was posted back to tekong as an instructor. Now, I'm just numb. Sian of all that ego talk, outwitting of others just to get that so called pride in the hands and waving them like a crazy lunatic who is so self absorbed in his mirage of victory.

In a place filled with guys, it is little wonder how army boys/men can tahan the egoistic nature of the alpha males day in day out. I'm just glad I've walked out of it.

For many, army serves as a perfect recluse to escape from all their troubles, as mentioned above(including me). As we serve our 2 year term, changes take place all the time, not to mention things in the civilian world. Within a yr our juniors have finished their As, 8 months into NS and our female classmates and frens have moved on to university, and not to forget the ever constant gossipping of who's together with whom and broken up. I suppose we as NSFs often desire to keep up with all the changes, but then again when the training programme comes out groans and grumbles fill the saddened heart especially when confinement beckons.

More importantly, people come and go in our lives. Our best buddies(no matter how close or permanent) in pri, sec, tertiary sch, gf/bf or ex(s), once they step out of your radius of close contact, they will drift further apart once they have found their next radius of contacts. Sometimes the rapport will still be there after many years. Sometimes it might just disappear in a matter of weeks. What's important is that we do cherish the people around us and keep a place for them in some corner of our hearts and mind when they're gone. Letting go might be difficult, but to me it's like a new lease of life, a new beginning in a minor way.

Gawd. Too serious le. Duno why but today seem abit lacking of inspiration(or should it be energy) to blog. lolx. neway just made a new spec today... sick of the black and white/frameless spec that looks 25 yr old on me. BUT... a sudden realisation dawned on me... I'm broke!!! Bodoh... money spend like drinking water sia. if only letting away water helps replenish the amount of money in my bank account, I'd gladly go for perspiration sessions or urinate the whole day.

-Balance the ego to have a balanced state of mind-
signing off,
kT=)

Sinful or xing fu?

2007-04-02T21:52:00.000+08:00

Sinful or xing fu?

Eating is a blessing. But for young people like us whose vanity matches that of a peacock, eating too much can cause an unnecessary amount of distress. Hai. Just look at the plate of pork chop rice and walnut paste makes u real tempted to break your duck and forget about the numerous calories beneath the aroma. Sucks. How many crunches and leg raises would it take to get rid of those excess pot belly lard?

Sidetraking abit, life can be made much simpler if we din have that complicated brain of ours. Associations, assumptions and anticipations (wow, 3 As) often make us rethink our options time and time again, causing great sacrificial rites of brain cells just to make up our minds. what a farce. lesson learnt: just do, don't think so much. time doesn't stop to wait for you to make up your mind. hmm...doesn't it sound familiar? how long does it actually take to get that message into that stubborn mind of mine?

=)kT - jian dan jiu shi mei -the beauty of simplicity

A new month, a new beginning!

2007-04-01T20:15:00.000+08:00

A new month, a new beginning!

Yay...7 more months to ORD! Happy april's fool day(i did it on purpose)

my first post here...duno wat to say actually...kinda shagged out becuz of the ever frequent booking in and out of tekong. looking ahead, this month isn't very friendly... 8 apr cos, 9 apr enlistment duty, 10 apr intake, all the way till 27 apr book out. and 27 apr happens to be another cos day. gawd. sometimes i wish i had a 8-to-5 job in ns. lol wishful thinking huh.

the recruits of 01/07 who went to sispec jus msg-ed me today... all the "wah training very xiong" "wah sian im doing complex guard duty on good fri" comments seem so deja vu. back in my early sispec days i don't remember being so negative about training siaz. i somehow thought that sispec was quite spacious and better in the sense that we were at least in mainland singapore. sometimes it's ironic ya. the recruits come into tekong, with the "i want to become an officer/specialist" mindset and wayang/work so hard just to get there. and when they do, they complain and complain. haha... oh well. my time has passed.

ns is certainly a memorable experience...2 yrs in there and even though we might say it's such a waste of time doing many shit jobs, fact is we'll have grown and matured. not to mention that the 2 yr buffer period often allows us to sit down and think about our past and mend the mistakes in our character so as to make ourselves better people when we come out. im grateful for that.

do u believe that we all get second chances? after a period in mid-march, i certainly believe so. volleyball seldom seemed fun back in secondary sch ya... given that horrid PMS-ing temper of mine and that ever so perfectionist style that often got me into trouble (yes, so very unfortunately), and it's kinda sad that i din actually get to really enjoy the game back then. but back in mid-march i actually got a chance to play competitive vball again, this time for 9 div infantry. though it's more like a recreational competition, fact is it's jus so familiar. the squeaking sounds of sport shoes as players jostle for best positions to place their spikes, the firm long blows of the whistle signalling for the serving player to make his move...all these reek of those days back in sec sch(though the unbearable smell of the knee guards could well be forgotten). it was then i really enjoyed the game and played like i've never played before.

my new year's resolution came abit too late, i guess... but summing it up,

1. no vulgarities(even to recruits, not to mention civilian life)
2.no PMS-ing (don't want to start it again)
3. and for gawd's sake, dun be MO75!

laggy system often produces laggy results. gone are the days of hesitating and procrastination. let the passive side fade away... only to come back when breaks and rests are in dire need. the positive vibes shall fill the arena, dispelling all unfriendly emotions to the abyss... the future is now.

=) kT